Lisa & Roshanda: She Walked Into the Bus Station and Stole My Heart

black lesbian brides embrace in a gazebo
black lesbian couples at restaurant laughing happily

Lisa and Roshanda lean in for a photo at a restaurant.

Written by Lisa Lockhart

I met my wife, Roshanda, on a dating site. I was in Jacksonville, Florida, and she was in Tampa, Florida. As we were talking on the phone, I found myself really liking this woman who I had never met. So, I decided it was time we meet.

I went to Tampa by Greyhound and I must admit, I was a little nervous. As the Greyhound bus was pulling into Tampa, I had all these butterflies in my stomach.

As I waited for her, in walked a little, petite woman who had a bouquet of flowers for me. When I saw her eyes, I was hooked.

Our first date was at this restaurant called Martha’s in Tampa. While we waited on our food, we talked and we both liked what we saw. Our first dinner date was at a restaurant that serves authentic Mexican cuisine.

I Knew She Was Special

black lesbian brides embrace in a gazebo

Lisa and Roshanda got married in May 2015.

After leaving her that day, I knew she was special. For two years, we had a long-distance relationship. After realizing that I had fallen in love with her, I knew I wanted to be with her. When I confessed that I loved her, she was speechless at first, and she said she loved me too.

When she proposed, it had me in tears. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so I moved to Tampa and I got a job transfer. We got married on my birthday, May 20, 2015.

 

We Take Care of Each Other

We make sure we take care of each other. She has dyslexia and I make sure that I remind her that she is a great, creative person. She has had a rough life, from being adopted to being sexually and physically abused. Still, she has a great head on her shoulders.

I love how my wife supports me and loves me with my epilepsy. I love her because of her heart. She is always there for me and I love her with all her imperfections. She says she loves my eyes and my face and calls me “Fancyface.”

Our Family

black lesbian mom and step daughter high school graduation

Lisa stands proudly with her stepdaughter, Keisha, at her high school graduation.

I never had any kids and another bonus was getting to know Roshanda’s daughter, Keisha. Even though Keisha was shy, we hit it off right away. She doesn’t stay with us, but it feels good to have a daughter. I get to buy her make up and give her advice.

About Our Love: Why I Waited Five Years to Marry My College Sweetheart

Tre and Maia nuzzle each other.
Tre and Maia looking supa dupa fly.

Tre and Maia are college sweethearts who married after five years of dating.

Written by Tresaun Lee

I always want to tell people that we (me and Maia) met in some real crazy romantic scenario but truthfully it was online. We both went to the same university but had never before spoken to one another. She claimed to have seen me on campus before and was too shy to say something. One random night in October 2008 we both happened to be on Downelink.

I said something to her cuz she was the only one in the chat room on video and not typing. She didn’t like the setup and said it was too hard to keep up with the convos and that sparked a private IM session. Before long, we were speaking for hours. After we spoke online for awhile we kept promising to link up on campus, but our classes never aligned so she invited me to her house in the city for dinner one night.

She made me pesto pasta, we watched movies, drank and talked. She lived on a popular street in the city so we walked the length of it, perusing shops and flirting then ended up down by the waterfront. It was pretty chill but also very intimate. I have never left her side after that night. Lol.

 

I Fell in Love

A couple months after we met, I asked her to be exclusive and about a year and some change later, I asked her to be my wife. I’d say I fell in love with her after she went back home to visit family in another country. Never missed someone so much and it was weird cuz from the day we met, we didn’t spend a day apart.

What I love about her is that she is her own person. She is very much like my mother, which I love and hate. She is stubborn and compassionate. Headstrong and committed. What some see as shy and quiet I see as mysterious and layered.

It’s like she reserves her real self for me only and she too sees my demons and angels without me having to verbalize much.

I hate to say it but she is my best friend and not cuz we get along and make a good team but also cuz she knows me where I dunno myself.

 

The Secret to a Long-Lasting Relationship

Tre and Maia laughing in an alley

Tre and Maia laugh together in the midst of a photo shoot.

If you ask me what’s the secret to making a relationship last, I’ll say, there’s is no damn secret! LoL. It’s hard as hell. The secret is that it takes real life work.

People wanna believe in fairyt ales and the one and only but that is still another living breathing person. We forget our love can be narcissistic and demanding and that our counterparts aren’t puppets.

I think mostly my wife and I are happy with our relationship because we can talk to one another when we need to. Even if it’s the same thing it’s not nagging. We share ourselves and try to lift each other up.

Because I get to see the blood, sweat and tears she puts into making me and allowing me to be the woman I am … I too, wanna reciprocate and show her I’m there to do the same when she needs it. It’s nice to think it’s 50/50 but it never is. Someone always needs the other more and I’m glad my wife knows about realistic compromise and how to keep not only me happy, but our relationship fresh.

 

I Believe in Non-Conventional Relationships, But Still Wanted a Wife

For me marriage symbolizes a step toward a future. And of course I believe in non-conventional relationships, but I always wanted a wife. When I met mine, I really was partly afraid I would lose someone so important to me without making that grand gesture. Another part of me wanted to show her how serious I was about being just as important in her life.

We had agreed to wait for her to graduate but unbeknownst to us at the time, that two-year plan had become an eight-year one. I felt like her unwillingness to compromise was a larger issue to making me wait on her timeline and she felt like me pressuring her was speaking to me never being satisfied.

What we ended up doing was getting married without the bells and whistles and planning for something larger once she’s out of school. We both had to compromise. We both got a little of what we wanted but in the end I think our relationship got what it needed.

We approached a subject we hated to speak about in a million different ways. We talked till we were blue in the face, we cried and laughed. And in the end it was worth it cuz I know why I wanted her as a wife. No other woman is worth waiting five years for. And soon we’ll have been together 10 years, and I can’t believe it’s only the beginning.


 

Tre and Maia are in their early 30s and live in Philadelphia. Tre is a poet. Here is a poem she wrote for Maia.

Tracy & Tiffany: A Divine Meeting Leads to a Two-Bride Wedding in the Bible Belt

Tracy and Tiffany embrace at a table with bouquets and sand glass.
Tiffany sits on a settee while her bride, Tiffany stands.

Tracy and Tiffany married after a year of planning.

After seven years of love, laughter and friendship, Tracy and Tiffany married in September of 2015. The happy brides, who reside in Greensboro, N.C., share the story of their love and special wedding day below:

Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): How did you meet?

Tracy and Tiffany: We met at church in another city, and found out that we both lived in the same town. We began hanging out as friends and the rest is history!

BL3: What attracted you to each other?

Tracy: I was drawn to Tiffany’s cheerful personality, and her devotion to church, family and friends. Tiffany: Tracy and I just started out as friends, but as we got to know each other, I saw how hard she worked for what she wanted. She is so goal-oriented!

BL3: Tell us about your first date. 

Tiffany: Because we were friends first, we can’t remember our first date. I kind of like that about our relationship because it didn’t make things uncomfortable. I didn’t have to worry about the jitters of the first date or ordering a salad for dinner (even though I love salads).

BL3:  What do you love about each other?

Tiffany: I love Tracy’s passion that she has for different things in life.

Tracy: I love Tiffany’s cheerfulness and how selfless she is.

 

BL3: Why did you decide to get married, especially after seven years?

Tracey: We both wanted to spend the rest of our lives with someone who loves us for who we are and allows us to love them.

Tiffany: Tracy is also one of my biggest supporters. Who wouldn’t want that for the rest of your life?

Tracy and Tiffany cut the wedding cake.

Tracy and Tiffany cut their wedding cake together.

BL3: Tell me a bit about your wedding day. What made it special?

Tiffany: I thought I would be nervous on the day of the wedding, but I guess since I was so nervous the weeks leading to it, I didn’t have any nervousness left. This day was special to me because everyone there was in support and not judgment. This not only made me happy but Tracy also. If she is happy, I’m happy!

Tracy: Our day was special because we had come through almost a year of planning and we were in agreement on everything (from the flowers to the decorations to the candy buffet). We worked hard to ensure each of us was happy. With two brides, we wanted each of us to feel special and feel like the day was all about each of us!

Another special thing is that for most of our guests, this was [their] first time attending a same-sex wedding. We’re in the south, in the Bible belt. Although we experienced some heartache and loss of relationships along the way, in the end true friends and family were right there supporting us.

We’ve been told that our union has brought the issue of same-gender-loving relationships to the forefront and caused many to have to consciously reconsider their long-held beliefs and determine what really matters most. Love is love!!

BL3: What wedding traditions did you keep and which ones did you get rid of and why?

Tiffany: The night before the wedding, I presented Tracy with something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. I know she was surprised and I LOVED IT!

Tracy: We ditched the traditions like seating guests by choosing sides. We wanted everybody intermingled! We also did not include throwing bouquets or removing garters. It was important to us to keep Christian traditions like having premarital counseling with a Christian pastor, having prayer and the Lord’s Prayer sang during the ceremony.

BL3: Where was the wedding and reception held? At a church or somewhere else? And why? 

Tracey and Tiffany: Neither of us belonged to a welcoming and affirming church at the time. We took extra care to ensure everybody involved (guests and vendors), were in agreement with and supportive of same-sex marriage. So we definitely wanted the venue to have the best atmosphere. The wedding and reception were held at Tracy’s brother’s catering facility–ceremony outside on the patio, reception in the inside dining area. We knew it was a great facility, but when we saw it decorated for our wedding, we knew it was the best place!

BL3: How did it feel to exchange vows? Did you write your own vows?

Tiffany: I wrote my own vows and it felt good to say what was in my heart. I felt like in that moment I could wrap up the feelings and love that I have for Tracy in words. Of course all of it could not be said in a couple of words, but I promise to show it every moment I have for the rest of my life.

Tracy: I knew I would cry! I could hardly finish reading everything without my voice cracking. It felt like everything I feel for Tiffany (all of my love, concern and “lust”) was magnified 100 times in that moment.

BL3: What was the most memorable part of the day?  

Tiffany: The most memorable part of the day is when I came out the doors and saw Tracy standing waiting for me. The closer I got to her the more I felt the love and connection between us.

Tracy: Most memorable for me are two things–the way my baby brother escorted me in and walked away to go and get Tiffany to escort her in to me, and the way Tiffany looked when those doors were opened. She was a beautiful princess! I will never forget it.

Eight Years After Falling in Love With Her, My Wife Has Changed

Ayesha and Cicely model their healthy new bodies.
Cicely and Ayesha are healthier than ever.

Cicely and Ayesha have seen dramatic changes in their lives since they committed to eating better and exercising more.

Written by Ayesha Forte

I remember getting my gallbladder removed on December 25, 2010. It was a horribly painful experience, but it was the best Christmas gift I ever got. After that, I was determined to change my eating habits. My wife, Cicely, and I had been thinking about becoming vegetarians. After watching several documentaries that exposed the cruel environments that the animals lived in, that was it for us. We never looked back.

Changing our eating habits was merely part of the battle. Our ultimate goal was to completely change our lifestyle—mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

First we supported each other in quitting smoking then, we took it further and became vegetarians. About a year ago, we committed to working out between four and five days a week.

So, we definitely needed healthy meals to keep these bodies moving.

 

We come from a family of cooks so home cooking is extremely important to us! Since becoming vegetarians three years ago, I’ve taken over the kitchen. We cook together sometimes, but truly I enjoy cooking for my family and presenting to them what I made for them. This makes me feel like a proud mother and wife.

 

It Wasn’t a Special Occasion

A mix of Italian and Mexican vegetarian meal.

Ayesha loves cooking for her family. This is one of her favorite meals to cook.

I remember coming home after a 10-hour workday at our shop (Glory Crown Beauty & Barber Shop) and heading straight to the kitchen. I had just bought a new cookbook and I was super excited about preparing Baked Mexican Spinach Dip with Toasted French Bread and Black Bean Lasagna Rolls.

 

When I was done, I served my wife. We cuddled up on the couch in our PJs and just grubbed. Did I mention that we worked all day? For my first attempt, I did pretty good and she loved the meal! It wasn’t a special occasion, but it is one of my favorite memories.

 

Everything Has Changed

Ayesha and Cicely model their healthy new bodies.

Ayesha and Cicely are thrilled at the changes they’ve seen on a spiritual, mental and physical level.

Since we began our journey to health three years ago, everything has changed, from our immune systems to the people we have around us. When you’ve fought to keep your peace and positive energy, you become very selective about whom you allow in your circle.

With us being entrepreneurs, time is money, but our gym time is priceless. We know that no amount of money will ever give us peace of mind. The gym is our sanctuary.

We now embrace change and will continue to motivate each other to be the best versions of ourselves. In turn, it brought us closer to one another. When you look good you can’t help but feel good!

 

Advice on Embracing Healthy Change as a Couple

You have to find a balance, yin and yang. As a married couple, we have to be on the same page. Sometimes Cicely has to carry the heavier load that week to make sure things get done and vice versa on my end.

For other couples looking to make a change this year, our best advice is that you hold yourself and each other accountable.

You cannot say you’re going to make a lifestyle change and only halfway clean up your act! It’s not going to be easy but that’s what makes it more rewarding. Trust the journey and go hard or not at all. Mediocrity and success is all in your perception!

 


 

Cicely and Ayesha recently celebrated their eighth anniversary in November 2015. They live in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

Seven Ways Black Lesbian Couples Can Dream Big

Desiree and Marisol's dream check list

The black lesbian couple that dreams together stays together.

Written by Desiree Brandon

 

Everybody has dreams. When I was a kid, I dreamed of being a neurologist who would moonlight as an opera singer on the weekends. And as every kid experiences, my dreams changed over the years, and I bet your dreams have changed too. As we ease into adulthood, we simply stop “dreaming” up big dreams. We start striving for things that are easy to attain. Dreaming big can become a lost art as an adult.

 

My big adult dream was to get married, but shortly after my wife and I got married this past September, I realized that I, too, had stopped dreaming big.

 

Sure, after 13 years together, we had obtained some of our early dreams as a couple: the house, the car, the 2 dogs and 2 cats, the micro farm with six chickens (all named after female rappers, naturally).

All of it had shaped up beautifully. But it wasn’t until my wife purchased a Square Swipe device (a digital credit card reader) did I realize that she had been paying close attention to my big dreams, even though I wasn’t. I have spent the better part of a year selling eggs from our chickens, making lotion bars, making candles and infusing oils. And now, I have a way to fully realize my micro business dream. It literally took her paying attention to what I wasn’t saying, in order for me to see what I was dreaming. This small dream has led to us start dreaming big together.

Dreaming big as a couple can do wonders for both people. To dream big as a couple, there are seven clear steps and things to consider:

 

  1. Make each other’s dreams your “couple” dreams. Simply put, make sure you both have dreams and goals on the list together. I am a very independent woman, but the dreams I choose to put on our “couple” list are handpicked because they are too hard for me to accomplish on my own. If you are always chasing a dream of your partner, you will never feel fully satisfied.
  2. Check in at least weekly. Choose which goals you are working on that month. Even if you aren’t working on the same goal, checking in will help you both to hold each other accountable. That can also help to make necessary adjustments. I find that date night is a great time to informally check in.
  3. Become “dream” partners! Take time to bounce ideas off of each other. My wife wasn’t afraid to take action and send off for a Square swiper because of the ideas I bounced off of her regularly.
  4. Realize that her support allows you the space for failure (and vice versa). The hardest part of taking a dream and putting it through the process to become a reality is the absolute fear of failure. If she loves you, your failure does not change how she feels. That support is BEYOND crucial.
  5. Write down your “dreams” as a plan! Type them in your Mac, write them down old school in a shared notebook, email them to each other, whatever floats your boat! But remember, an unwritten plan does not allow you both to work on the steps or help with accountability.
  6. Talk about your dream with others! I’m not saying to become that couple that obsessively spills everything, but you never know who could help your dream become reality. I have a friend who left the corporate world to open the only DJ school in town, and he couldn’t have done it without talking to others about his dream. Because he was relentless in sharing with others, he found a partner in the most famous DJ in town.
  7. Have at least three dreams that are on the list for fun! Ours, right now, consists of New Year’s Day 2017 in Argentina; a honeymoon in Mazatlan and Guadalajara, Mexico; and turning our fresh-produce charity into an official 501c3. These dreams have specific impact on our day to day and everything to do with our sanity.

 

Most people aren’t ready for their dreams to come true. But if your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough! What goals do you both have as a couple? How can you work on dreaming big together?

Kerri & Neicha: From a MySpace Friendship to a Soul-Driven Love

Kerri and Neicha smile happily.
Kerri and Neicha Smith-Osei smile big.

Kerri and Neicha Smith-Osei got married on News Year’s Eve in 2013.

Kerri and Neicha remember December 31, 2013 as one of the best days of their lives. It was not just the beginning of a New Year, it was also the beginning of their married lives. Three months after they realized they had fallen in love with each other, Kerri and Neicha became lawfully wedded wives. It may seem like they were moving way too quickly, but for these two life coaches, their wedding was right on time. Below Kerri shares how she met and fell in love with her wife, Neicha:

Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): How did you two meet?

Kerri Smith-Osei: We met on Myspace a million years ago … OK, over more than 10 years ago to be more technical (remember Myspace … ha-ha!). Neicha friended me back then and we communicated as friends for all of those years.

Then fast forward to the later part of 2013, it was then that everything SHIFTED. We had become close friends over the years before we pursued a relationship. We were clueless we would actually end up together. We were both scared of losing our friendship should a relationship be a disaster … It happened very organically with us.

Our conversations changed over time, the way we looked at each other (literally) started changing. And, honestly the best way we know how to describe it is, “we didn’t see each other until we saw each other” — we had gone to the beach (my favorite place) like we normally did from time to time and it was that fateful day that we both felt a little spark, but didn’t immediately say anything. It was sort of odd. We didn’t know what to make of it.

We didn’t talk about it at first, but that FEELING seemed to grow and VERY quickly. It grew to the point that we just couldn’t ignore it. We would stare at each other and then get all shy. Then, finally we had a conversation about what was happening and how undeniable it seemed to be…….then we decided to take the plunge. And, the rest, as they say, is OURstory!

BL3: Tell us about your first date. Who asked the other out and where did you go?

Kerri: The word “date” feels so formal and it’s really hard to pinpoint the “first time,” but, if we had to choose an actual day it was yes, another day at the beach and it was me who asked her to go. There were no BIG plans in store, simply let’s go and just be and enjoy each other. Sort of reminiscent of our life … We just go with the flow and enjoy each other.

 

“We Knew We Wanted a Forever Kind of Love”

BL3: When did you know that you were in love and wanted to make a commitment?

Kerri: We knew we were in love pretty quickly. There was no hard and fast timeline for us of how long we should wait to make a lifelong commitment.

Life is just too short and we had already been in relationships that we once thought were “the one” so after looking at what was most important to us, we went from being in a “relationship” to getting married within a short period of time.

Again, because we had all this history, we already knew the most important things about each other and we had similar relationship and life goals, which was and continues to be so important. Many people like the idea of love or falling in love but never stop to think that unless you continue to put in the work daily and are prepared to do that consistently no matter what life throws at you, that “love” can fade. We knew we wanted a forever kind of love that could withstand any test and so we pursued that once we said the words out loud.

BL3: Why was it important to you to get married?

Kerri: It was important for us to get married because we both knew that was an end goal for both us. It was also important that we were legal in every way possible so we had equal rights. We wanted to start a family, make financial investments together and plan for our future and getting married legally would afford us the right to do all of those things without worry that one of us would be denied any benefits. Plus, Neicha has some health challenges and we wanted to make sure that I would not be denied access to her for medical reasons, hospital stays, etc.,  and that I could make pertinent medical decisions should anything happen. Finally, we just didn’t see a point in waiting no matter what anyone else thought. We wanted to be married and so we got married.

Learn more about their wedding day.

I said Yes to the Dress and to Our Imperfect Love

Desiree shows off her average wedding dress

Even though she is no where near average, Desiree chose an average wedding dress.

Written by Desiree Brandon

As a little girl, I never dreamed of getting married. Marriage was for people like my mom and dad. They met on a blind date that snowballed into 19 years of beautiful bliss.

I think I never dreamed of marriage and weddings, because at the time when most little girls would be daydreaming of their future, my family was fighting an uphill battle in the very real present. My father had pancreatic cancer for most of my childhood and passed away a few days before my 10th birthday. And while that may sound tragic, I learned two things from my parent’s relationship: love is unconditional and imperfect.

As a teenager, I watched my mom move on with her life, and I had an epiphany: Love and marriage don’t always go together. You can love someone wholeheartedly, and never marry her. You can also marry someone you don’t love. I didn’t want either scenario to become my life.

I knew if I were ever going to get married, it would have to be a love like what my dad had for my mom. But as I started the process of coming out to myself as a lesbian, I was met with the reality that (at the time) marriage was NOT an option. I dealt with that fact, and moved on. And while I wanted to get married eventually, it wasn’t as important as the love.

 

While I was a sophomore at Howard University in Washington, D.C., I found the love of my life. And after spending two years developing and building our lives together, we found a tiny rose garden in Philadelphia, said our own vows, and never looked back. Or so I thought.

 

Last November on a trip home to Arizona, my other half asked me to marry her officially. She was met with an emphatic “YES”, as I knew I have what my parents had: love that is both unconditional and imperfect.

 

Wedding planning is hard IF you care about the feelings or aesthetics of your guests that will be attending. Wedding planning for us was fairly easy. Finding the dress was not.

 

 

How I found My Wedding Dress

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I started my search at the cattle call of all brides, David’s Bridal. I hated EVERY dress I saw. I was a bit discouraged. My partner, Marisol, who sat through hours of me trying on dresses, called the store her own “personal purgatory.”

 

I realized that maybe a big store was not for me. I also realized this wedding dress adventure was not her thing either. I found a nearby boutique and vintage shop. I tried on dresses and found some I liked, but nothing that stood out to me.

 

I found a dressmaker and described what I wanted. She immediately sent me pictures of a dress that she had already made that kind of fit my description, and I was IN LOVE! Don’t be afraid of alternative stores. I found more dresses that I loved in the smaller boutique stores than in the big chain stores. I also would say to know what you want before going in to look at dresses. Know the style you want, and also know your budget. Try to stick to both of them. This will save your time, money, and sanity.

 

Where did I finally find THE dress? Online. I know. It sounds absolutely INSANE to buy a wedding dress online, but if you know your current measurements, buying a dress online is perfectly safe.

 

My Dress is Average But I’m Not

 

For me, it’s not about the dress. I hate pomp and circumstance, so I ended up choosing a tea length dress with no train and no veil.

 

I chose a tea length dress to be comfortable and to be able to party with friends after the ceremony is done. And while the ceremony will be a sight to behold, my dress is pretty average.

 

I can do that because I know that my dress is everything that I am not. I know that an average dress made me stand out. For my shoes, I chose Converse.

 

You read that correctly; I am getting married in my Chuck Taylors. That, as my friends and family will tell you, is exactly who I am. An average dress with Converse for a bride anything but average.

 

My other half doesn’t share my average sentiment. She opted for a navy blue suit, blue gingham shirt, orange tie, succulent lapel pin, and brown shoes. But this outfit fits her personality perfectly.

 

And while I was excited about our September wedding, I was more excited that I finally got to put on the comfortable dress and party the night away with my friends and family. I can’t think of a better way to celebrate my imperfect and unconditional love.

Love to Travel? Marry a Woman With an Insatiable Wanderlust

Tiffany and LaToya travel through Asia.

Tiffany and LaToya travel through Asia. Here they visit temples in Balid and Ubud in Indonesia.

 

Written by Tiffany and LaToya Rose

This goes out to all of you insatiable wanderlusters, nomads at heart, and even those who dream to be.

PSA: Do not date stagnant people a.k.a non-travelers.

If you dream of  hiking Machu Picchu, camel riding in deserts of the UAE, snorkeling in Thailand, drunken dancing in the wee hours of the morning on the  streets of Sevilla or waking up to an Indonesian sunrise, trust us, dating a non-traveler will NEVER work!

We speak from experience.  A number of years ago before I met my beautiful wife,  I dated a woman who talked a BIG game about seeing the world, but it never came to fruition.

Having studied abroad, my wanderlust-crazed self would plan trips, and make itineraries for us to exotic locations. All for her to convince me that NOW wasn’t the time, or that there were more practical and pressing issues to handle before we went on a trip. I even suggested  that we take a sabbatical and live abroad for a year then return stateside, but of course she was having not of that.  Always patronizingly asking me “ What are you running from?”

Surprise, surprise , those trips never happened and neither did the rest of our relationship.  Now I’m not saying that this issue was the singular cause of our break up, because it wasn’t. But me being the  person  I am , it was definitely a BIG issue.

Years later while living as an expat in South Korea, I met my beautiful wife. She shared my insatiable wanderlust and love of foreign adventures. When I said where to next and she grabbed her passport, I knew she was the one.

Click on any of the pictures below to launch this photo gallery of some of their travels.

We’re not saying a relationship between a traveler and a non-traveler is doomed but let’s be honest we all know that when your core values detour from each other’s,  the relationship is headed towards a DEAD END.

A non-traveling mate will never understand your wanderlust. At times he/she may even mock and marginalize your traveling desires. Saying the tried and true “ When are you going to grow up and settle down?” “ You cant live like that forever.” “ What are you running from?” “ You should invest in something tangible, for example a house, a car … cable!”

A non-traveler mate wont be able to rationalize your $600 ticket to Rome for your birthday instead of a new birthday outfit and a night of drinks at the new posh watering hole in your neighborhood.  It’s one thing to be nervous about international travel and it’s a whole other thing to resign yourself against it.

Please beware of those ardent non-travelers, trust us, your nomadic heart will wither in their stagnant grasp.

Trying to convince a Non-Traveler that the world outside their bubble isn’t the scary inhospitable  black hole they thought it  was, is  like trying to persuade Kim Davis to officiate Raven Simone’s Big Gay wedding. It’s not happening!

Now of course we are biased! We are travelers, through and through.

But we’re not snobs or travel elitists. We understand that TRAVEL isn’t a PRIORITY for EVERYONE. Not everyone every gets a rush by booking tickets, earning passport stamps, and experiencing new adventures.

Start small, wet your toes. Begin with the Caribbean and South America. Once you’ve ventured out…drop a few more bread crumbs and head to Europe. When you get to Asia…give us a call!

You learn a lot about a person when you travel with them. Your attitude can turn an ordeal into an adventure. In our opinion there is no doubt, that traveling with your partner can help strengthen your bond.

Whether you and your mate earn one stamp together or eighty four, we encourage everyone to step outside your comfort zones and see a bit of the world. It’s a truly amazing place. You may surprise yourselves.

So here’s to LOVE and WANDERLUST. We wish you all, the BEST of BOTH!


Tiffany and LaToya Rose are a married, black lesbian couple who are living in Shanghai, China, seeing the world and trying to conceive a baby. This article was originally published on their blog: ThisIsOurNrml.com.

This Southern Femme Is Willing to Do Anything for Her Stud …

Sherrita gets busy in the kitchen preparing Sunday dinner for her family.

Sherrita gets busy in the kitchen preparing Sunday dinner for her family.

It was an early Sunday morning and Sherrita Sanders was up hours before her wife, Katrina, doing something she normally doesn’t do. She is getting a start on Sunday dinner. As a black lesbian femme living in the South, where soul food is central to family gatherings, people expect the femme to be queen of the kitchen.

“Funny thing about me cooking is that I don’t do it because I don’t know how to,” Sherrita confessed. “But I will learn … anything to make her life easier.”

Sherrita is used to her wife, a stud, doing all the cooking. But this morning, “I just wanted to let her sleep. She worked seven days this week.”

She added, “I am so blessed! She does this for our house four times a week but I just need for her to relax and let me take care of her.”

Even though cooking is Katrina’s passion, Sherrita said it was important for her to start helping her “Ace” with the cooking. Especially on Sundays, when friends and family come over to their home for dinner, laughs and conversation.

In order to give her wife a break, Sherrita bought cookbooks and is getting advice from friends and family about how to put together a delicious meal! In addition to getting advice on how to heat things up in the kitchen, she says she’s also getting marriage tips from women in her family who are more experienced in matters of marriage and cooking.

Katrina and Sherrita Sanders got married March 2015.

Katrina and Sherrita Sanders got married March 2015.

When she was done throwing down in the kitchen today, both Sherrita and Katrina were pleased, proud and happy.

“We do what works and what keeps love and compassion fresh in our marriage no matter what role we hold in the relationship,” Sherrita says.

The Sanders, who got married in March, live in Houston, Texas.

The Sanders Sunday Dinner Menu

Cornbread chicken dressing

Cabbage

Pork steaks

Rice with gravy

Banana pudding for desert

 

Don't you just wish you could grab a plate?

Dinner at the Sanders’ home is served!

 

Tianna & Charmagne Sport Two White Dresses and Matching Sneakers

Charmagne and Tianna held the wedding ceremony and reception at an art gallery. TimeFrozen Photography

Charmagne and Tianna held the wedding ceremony and reception at an art gallery. TimeFrozen Photography

A few months back, Tianna shared with us the story of how she met and fell in love with Charmagne. The Connecticut couple, who have been together for five years, married in November. The couple held their cocktail party wedding at an art gallery in Hartford, Conn. “It had just the right amount of industrial charm and funky, artistic features,” Tianna says.

Charmagne and Tianna sport matching tennis shoes under their gowns. Photos by TimeFrozen Photography

Charmagne and Tianna sport matching tennis shoes under their gowns. Photos by TimeFrozen Photography

All of their vendors were close friends or friends of friends. “We care deeply about the artists in Hartford and the great things that they bring to our lives,” Tianna says. “It’s a community that we are a part of as fellow artists, and we wanted to give our friends a chance to show off their skills.” Both women are artists (Charmagne a musician and Tianna, a writer).

See more photos from their wedding here at The Knot.

Congratulations to the lovely couple!