Masculine Not Manly, Vol 3: A Letter From a Recovering TouchMeNot Stud

queen latifah and girlfriend in set it off

Written by Bre Ukweli

Dear Lover,

I promise it isn’t your fault that you have yet to make me cum in bed. I also swear on my entire sexual life, that I’m honestly not punishing you with dryness because you’re incompetent. Sometimes I think that the pleasure gene skipped me entirely and my vagina is just there for show and unnecessary monthly messes.

Up until recently, my sexual needs  thrived off of my lovers’ wants. Their moans were like cheering sections that had me wearing my back scratches like medals. Pleasure was just a game that I played for the sake of my ego.

There comes a time in every TouchMeNot (TMN) stud’s life where our bodies inherently begins to grow jealous of watching orgasm after orgasm, from the outside. Suddenly, the feeling of someone else’s wetness isn’t enough to fuel the mental satisfaction and we begin to crave more. But, we’ve already established rules that require us to slap away your hands in the heat of the moment.

We’ve created sexual environments where it’s okay for you, as a partner, to walk away completely satisfied and leave your stud contemplating her life and sexual needs, feeling incomplete for reasons she doesn’t understand.

We’re sorry, even in silence. Trust me on this one.

Rewriting that environment is intense, but necessary, especially if you, I mean we (but mostly me), want to save our relationship; both sexually and emotionally.

You want to know the key to sex with a recovering TouchMeNot stud like me?

  1. Patience.
  2. Don’t pressure me into anything. Allow me to make the request. I know what I need and all you have to do is listen. I understand it can be difficult to wait, but I promise you that’s the best way to get me to be comfortable with you.
  3. Talk to me outside of the bedroom. Get to know me through intimate conversations. Find out not only what turns me off, but also why. The “why” is extremely important. Sometimes there’s a lot more than just a need for control that’s keeping me from enjoying sex.
  4. Lastly, be open-minded, supportive and understanding. There’s nothing worse than making me feel bad about going against your sexual (and heteronormative) expectations. What I mean is, if you get lucky enough to get me to ask to be strapped, you strap up. Simple.

Your pleasure should be my pleasure and my ecstasy should be your ecstasy. Let’s make love to each other, have fun and see how it goes.

Love,

Bre


Bre  is a 24-year-old gender-fluid person living in South Florida. She is a shade connoisseur hopelessly chasing skylines, sunsets and social justice.

Why Black Lesbian Queens Stay in Bad Relationships

dark skinned natural women big hair

We have so many reasons for staying but like to pretend we don’t know. Photo courtesy of David Famuyide

Written by Zamara Perri

When a black woman falls in love with another woman, especially for the first time, it can be completely magical. She makes our heart skip a beat, our palms sweaty, puts butterflies in our stomach and makes our panties wet. We can’t stop thinking about her, wanting her and dreaming about your future together.

Maybe she is the one. Maybe she’s not. Lesbians are famous for falling in love quickly and trying to build something out of nothing. And we black lesbian queens are no different.

But for real though, just because you fall in love with someone doesn’t mean you have to build a life together.

Sometimes we say yes to relationships, circumstances and situations without truly weighing the costs.

At first we think we can handle/settle for a less-than-ideal situation, but as time goes by, we realize that we’re not happy.

What Are You Getting Out of the Relationship?

Sometimes we hope and pray that things (or maybe she) will change, but the truth is that the only person you can change is yourself.

I truly believe that before getting into or getting out of a relationship, all black lesbians should ask themselves, what they are getting out of the relationship.

I’m so serious. All romantic relationships have a pay off. My partner taught me a really important lesson early in our relationship. Although she is a truly kind, spirit-driven woman who loves people, before she gets involved in anything, she always asks herself, “What am I getting out of this?”

The question is important, she reasons, because if you’re not getting what you want, then what motivation do you truly have in continuing to pursue this thing? This question can relate to any relationship, business opportunity, volunteer of social activity. I know it sounds crazy and selfish, but hear me out.

My partner taught me that even if the only thing you get from a situation is a good feeling, it has to be something valuable to you.

Everything has a cost and a pay off so know your worth.

 

The Real Reasons We Stay

So with that in mind, let’s be honest. Some people claim that they get into relationships because they just love this other person and can’t live without them.

That might be true, but if we are truly honest most people are in relationships for a combination of the following reasons:

  • She makes you feel good
  • She’s really good in bed
  • Y’all are pretty together
  • You like the attention she gives you
  • She’s your companion/best friend
  • A built in cuddle buddy
  • Someone to split the bills with
  • She makes you feel good
  • Someone to raise children with
  • A status symbol/ being in relationship makes you desirable in the eyes of your community
  • She brings out the best in you
  • You like taking care of her because (you feel powerful, strong, important etc., etc.)

You Get What You Accept

It may seem obvious that when you’re in a bad relationship, you should just leave. But it’s just not that easy. Even though we don’t think we consciously sign up for being treated like crap, far too many of us put up with lovers who:

  • Lie, cheat and manipulate
  • Are financially irresponsible
  • Are unreliable
  • Never apologize
  • Talks to us out of the side of her neck
  • Blames, instead of taking responsibility for her bad behavior
  • Makes us cry

Is that what we truly want? If it’s not and we’re still hanging around, then there is an even deeper reason why we’re choosing to remain in that relationship.

We stay because there is something about that shitty relationship that fills a basic need.

And queen, only you know what that need is. Could it be because you think that you’ll never find someone to “love” you again? Are you afraid of being alone? Are you afraid of losing her income? Do you have a lease together and it’s too much of a hassle to untangle it all? Are you comfortable with being unhappy? Do you believe that this is all you deserve? Or do you truly believe that she is the one and that she will change?

Saying yes to any of those questions means you’re staying because you think you need that person’s love, company, money, property, etc.

If these things are what you’re getting from your relationship, then it won’t matter to you if your partner is showing you in many different ways that you are not valuable to her and that you are not a priority because you won’t leave. No judgment here. I’ve been there and done it myself.

I remember being in a relationship where we argued and fought all the time. Most of our arguments stemmed from her being extremely insensitive, which led to me being even more insecure. Even after letting the relationship go, I found myself crying over her. When I got real with myself and dug deep down inside, I discovered that I still wanted the relationship because I was lonely and liked her attention.

I was embarrassed. Here I was this strong, independent black woman who needed this woman’s negative attention to validate me. But it was the ugly truth. Knowing that truth made me understand why this dysfunctional relationship was important to me.

How to Get What You Want

Ladies, it’s really simple, if you are not getting what you want from your relationship, there really is no reason to stay. Celebrating your 20th anniversary is hardly an accomplishment if you spent 19 of those years being disrespected and abused.

Many of us think that because we love someone that we need to stick around and deal with their crap to prove how much we love them. Actually real love is the opposite. If you truly love someone, you demand that they do better and you demand that they treat you better. Treating you well is the price she must pay to be in your life.

 

The relationship you have is the relationship you settle for.

 

If you are not getting something really valuable out of a relationship and you don’t want to leave, then you need to re-negotiate. Have the conversation. Express yourself. Use your words. Stand up for yourself because you, my dear, are worth it.

Queen, your partner doesn’t have all the power. A strong woman doesn’t complain or threaten to leave; a strong woman takes action.

The time you spend stressing over her bullshit is the time you could spend working on other goals, being your own best friend, buying your own property, supporting and taking care of yourself. And when you’re ready, you will demand better or move on. It was hard, but I did it and I know you can too.

How I Healed After My Long-term Lesbian Relationship Ended

Model looks forward to the future.
Model looks forward to the future.

Letting go and starting over is never all that easy. Model: Tene’A.

Written by Vanessa B.

After falling in love with my best friend from high school, we spent the next 17 and a half years together. We did not live happily ever after. We broke up after I returned from serving in the Army and losing the relationship made me “cray-cray” crazy.

After the breakup, we were going back and forth in our conversations but we were definitely broken up because she started seeing someone three months after our breakup. It was a horrible emotional experience for me. A lot of things from our entire relationship boiled to the surface. The anger, sadness, and disappointment had already become recurring themes.

 

The Near Death Experience

One day, after arguing with Debra over the phone while driving at a high speed on the highway and almost slamming into the back of a Mack truck, I just stopped arguing with her.

After that day I decided I would always be kind when I spoke to her. I survived Iraq and yet while arguing on the cell phone I almost killed myself on the highway.

 

Mending My Broken Heart

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Forgiveness is healing. Model: Jessica Chibueze

I needed to quiet my mind and mend my broken heart. I started to pray, and meditate and, most importantly, I decided I wanted to heal. There was no going around the pain; I knew I had to go through it. I accepted that my long-term relationship was permanently over and I stopped all communication with her.

I had never been a real member of a church before, but I started my healing journey by sitting in the back of a church and crying my eyes out.

Also, I set some very simple goals: I wanted to heal, forgive, and get my butt up out of the bed and out of the house. The biggest help was being out of state and away for home. I decided not to return to my hometown. It was bittersweet, but to this day, it was the best decision I ever made.

What really helped me to forgive was that I looked ahead five years into the future and I knew I didn’t want to still be hurt or angry or harboring any “unforgiveness.” I also knew I needed to forgive myself and stop beating myself up.

I recognized early on in the breakup that anger and heartache were not there to be helpful to me. All the negative emotions I felt were exhausting and preventing me from moving forward. So I apologized to Debra for everything I had done.

I asked her for her forgiveness but I didn’t want or need her to acknowledge it. Just deciding to sincerely and genuinely forgive her and to forgive myself, helped me heal.

It feels a little odd to say this but I truly think I benefitted from her choice to jump into a relationship with someone new, because there was nothing I could do about it. So, it didn’t take me long to forgive because I saw the benefit in it, not for her, but for me.

I asked myself, what do you want? What are you going to do, now? It wasn’t an overnight process, at all. It took a lot of time, but it was a long-lasting type of healing for me.

Many years have passed now what happened in that relationship hasn’t impacted my ability to trust. I had to learn a lesson in order to realize that in relationship there has to be upfront, honest communication. Also, I need to ask questions and not just dive in to anything. I think that lesson also comes with maturity.

 

A Different Kind of Happily Ever After

I want to let all the black lesbians out there know there is no expiration date on the grief and mourning you may feel when your love relationship ends. However, breakups are the best time to do a YOU inventory. Meaning, who are you? What do you want? And what’s next for you? Debra was my first love, but by the time our relationship ended I was wiling to be in love with me. I needed to heal me. I needed to help me. I needed to save myself. And I did. And you can too.

It has been over 10 years since our breakup. I saw her once in person several years ago. Otherwise, it’s been an occasional picture on social media. We talked a few times over the years. It felt somewhat awkward because our lives have gone in completely different directions. She’s still in our hometown and living her life there. I have completed some higher learning goals, and I travel and I’ve lived in a few different places.

I’m very happy in my life. I have genuinely achieved closure in all my past relationships. Not only did I forgive but I also forgot.

I have no regrets. This is my life and there’s no dress rehearsal, it’s the real thing. I believe our past makes us who we are. Every life experience and encounter is three things: (1) A blessing, (2) a lesson, and (3) an opportunity.

I am currently single, but I date and I have a wonderful group of family and friends. I’ve also started to embrace the idea of a poly-amorous relationship because I don’t think you can be everything to one person, but maybe you can be a few good things to a few people. I stay open and receptive to new people coming into my life all the time.

 


 

Vanessa B.Veronica B is an entrepreneur, and a former psychotherapist. She resides in Las Vegas, where she likes to volunteer, hike, travel and write. She is an active member of the Vegas LGBTQ community. She’s currently working on projects involving social psychology, issues of religion, and empowerment for women and girls of color.

Masculine NOT Manly, Vol. 2: Truth Be Told Studs Are Not in Competition With Men

When men think they can just put their hands on women's bodies without their permisison.

When men think they can just put their hands on women’s bodies without their permission. SMDH.

Some disrespectful idiot making fun of masculine women.

Some disrespectful idiot making fun of masculine women.

Some insecure idiot’s handiwork. SMDH.

Written by Bre Ukweli

To feel incompetent in your skin is a hell of a thing. I wonder if men are really intimidated by studs on a daily basis. I wonder if they cup their balls in the palm of their hands at the sound of my name because they really do feel that we are in competition with each other.

Why do these men puff their chests out like proud pigeons when they see us studs with our arms around a beautiful woman? When they approach our partners on the street, do they realize that a stud can and in fact does “love her like he can,” and for longer too, if you want to get into the facts.

 

She’s Not Focused on My Fake Dick

The way they blatantly disrespect masculine presenting women, constantly and consistently, is insane. They tend to bring us up in conversation as if they think about us over blunts, hen and coke cups and “ho talk.” I know men who say things like “if she want dick, why get a fake one?” Instead of realizing it’s not the dick she’s focused on.

I have a dick too and his name is King and together King and I boast seven orgasms in a two-hour session so bro, tell me again what makes you special? Cause King is store bought and came in a pretty clear jar? Oh sir … that’s fine, but the great thing about King is that there can always be predecessors to the throne. The fact is that I can and will be in control of the tools that I have available when I’m in the bedroom. There can be a short and fat Squire inside your girl Wednesday and a long, thick, Duke Of Pussy in your girl Friday but she will be only texting one lesbian, so don’t get comfortable.

Listen here, I am. Not in the. Mood. To go back and forth with you about my love for women and their love for me. Yes, I can love a woman like you can. No, you cannot watch. Yes, I can out fuck you. And yes, I could’ve gotten eight. Fuck you mean? You don’t know me.

 

Masculinity is So Fragile

Is real dick the only asset that you bring to the table? Like, that’s it? You can make a family and I can create one, but is your family that much greater than mine? Your son looks like your wife and your daughter looks like you. My son may look like me and my daughter might look like my wife, so where is the disparity?

Masculinity is so fragile that when “borrowed” (because apparently women just can’t be masculine) by women who love women, men begin to forget that there are codes to this. I’m not talking guy code or girl code; I’m talking about mutual RESPECT.

I pay my bills and take the trash out in my house just like you do. Don’t forget that in the world, there are not just alpha males but alpha females, alpha genderfluid people and alpha non-binary people, too.

I don’t hate men. I don’t know any lesbians that do, honestly, but you all sure as hell make it hard not to dislike you.


Bre  is a 24-year-old gender-fluid person living in South Florida. She is a shade connoisseur hopelessly chasing skylines, sunsets and social justice.

Masculine NOT Manly, Vol. 1: Deep Inside a Stud’s Mind

 No one asks what the butch/stud/dom perspective of the world is.

No one asks what the butch/stud/dom perspective of the world is. Model: Bee Walker. Photo courtesy of Boi Society.

Written by Bre Ukweli

Men are constantly weighing their own masculinity against mine. As if my clothes define my level of “almost manhood.” No one stepped up when a man threatened me in my own ‘safe’ space. No one notices the way they frown at me and talk to me as if my opinion of the world doesn’t matter. No one notices when people–even people in my own family–say, “well it’s a man thing, something only us alpha males understand,” as if I was trying to understand the way of men. As if I won’t always come up short in comparison.

I’m constantly weighing my appearance in foggy shower mirrors wondering if the reflection will ever feel sufficient for more than a moment at a time. As if I haven’t spent my entire existence trying to build this persona, trying to clothe it, to protect it from men grabbing me on the street. Trying to remind myself to not lower my eyes when a man walks past me on a street corner because I’m tired of feeling like I disgust everyone.

No one asks what the butch/stud/dom perspective of the world is. They only want to hear from our partners and the people who claim to love us in our own light.

No one asks how intensely hard it is walking into a new barbershop, no one asks what effect our partners’ sexual requests make on our psyche. No one asks how hard it is to grow up ME in a world of SHE and HEs.

 


Bre  is a 24-year-old gender-fluid person living in South Florida. She is a shade connoisseur hopelessly chasing skylines, sunsets and social justice.

Interracial Deaf Hearing Lesbian Couple Shares The Great, The Bad & The Uncomfortable

Kat and Christina

What happens when a black, deaf, lesbian talks candidly with her wife, a white, hearing lesbian about some of the great, bad and uncomfortable moments of their marriage? In this absorbing seven-minute The Skin Deep video, Kat and Christina’s story sounds like every other couple’s. They talk about their happy moments, their son, family misunderstandings and common communication challenges that all couples can relate to.

Christina asks Kat to share three of her favorite things about their relationship. Kat lists all the things that she loves about their marriage from their travel adventures to everyday things like drinking tea together and their conversations.

Kat asks Christina how her deafness impacts their lives. Christina honestly shares that she doesn’t feel like they can go out as much because others don’t sign and Kat ends up being left out.

They then ask each other a really interesting question: Who sacrifices more in the relationship. Both are surprised by each others’ answers.

What I enjoyed most about this couple was just how remarkably well they communicated and I don’t know if that is because having a deaf partner forces communication.

Check out the video below and share your thoughts in the comments 🙂

Marathon Love: Towana and Jonette

Written by Towana Bacchus-Yates

My wife Jonette and I met in college, but it wasn’t love at first sight. As we got to know each other, things changed. For our first date, we went to a Mexican restaurant. It was also my birthday so she made them sing to me as I stood in a chair with a huge sombrero on.

Over the years, we’ve collected many special memories and grown more in love. I love that we like to travel, that we can laugh at and with each other. I love that we are the strength for the other when one is weak and that we truly are best friends.

One of my favorite memories was when we got married after being together for 16 years! We went on vacation with Olivia Travel to the Dominican Republic where our friends from England met us. I was turning 40 the next year and each month, J would give me a gift. The month was May and on the last night of the trip, J asked me if I wanted to open my May gift. Of course I said, yes! She had made me a photo book with pictures of our different travels. On the last page was a picture of the Statue of Liberty and it read: “I look forward to taking you to my birthplace tomorrow.” (J was born in Manhattan). I was dumbfounded.
J’s birthday is May 20, so I had taken the day off as I always do, but this year we were going to New York. Unbeknownst to me, she arranged with my bosses to give me a few extra days off. New York was the first state we had visited since marriage became legal in some states. “Sooo,” J asked. “[While] we are there, do you want to get married?”

That was all she had to say. As soon as we landed in New York, we started our journey of picking out a dress, registering for a marriage license, and looking for flowers. On May 21, 2014 we were officially married!

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What made this day special is that it was just us. I know that sounds crazy, but it was intimate. We had 100 percent of each other’s attention. The day before we married, (J’s birthday) her mom called to wish her happy birthday and when J told her we were getting married, she gave us her blessings and wished she was there to share it with us. After we married, we went to Central Park and enjoyed the park.
The only wedding tradition that we kept is we both wore white. A southern girl with dreams of a spectacular wedding was thrown out the window. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!


 

As of January 6, 2015, Towana and Jonette’s marriage was legally recognized in their home state of Florida and as of June 26, 2015, their marriage is recognized nationwide.

Six Men Every Black Lesbian Needs in Her Life

 

Written by Zamara Perri

Every black lesbian needs a good black man in her life!

Every black lesbian needs a good black man in her life!

For the past few months, I’ve had some of the best experiences a black lesbian could ever hope to have with several men. People like to stereotype and say that lesbians don’t like men. I like them fine. I’m just not interested in sleeping with or making a life with one. The most important thing about these men is that I don’t have to hide the fact that I am a lesbian or feel uncomfortable around them. I also don’t have to worry about them hitting on me because it is clear that I’m in a relationship and with whom.

So, yes, I’m happy to know these incredible men. They are not family but some of them come pretty damn close. Here are my six favorite men, and I believe that every black lesbian needs to have these guys in her life too!

  1. The Mechanic: My car has issues. It’s old and paid for and I’m cheap. My mechanic came highly recommended and is a hard working brotha who is kind, honest, respectful and flexible. He tells me what is critical and what can wait.
  1. The Handyman: This tall, handsome drink of water, is also respectful and a good communicator. He’s very polite and has a great attitude. My honey and I are not particularly handy people so when we need things fixed like a leaky faucet, a fan that doesn’t work, etc., the handyman is our guy.
  1. The roofer: This gentleman is also really cheerful, understanding and flexible. What got me is when he said, “You don’t have to pay for anything up front until you are happy and if you’re not happy, I’ll come back until you are!” I like that! He is a man that stands by his work. He took me out on our roof and showed me what he was doing and why he recommended what he did and he spoke English. And while he was up there, he cleaned our gutters. I liked dealing with him because neither my partner or me know anything about roofs. It was important to us to have someone we trusted, guiding us.
  1. The barber: My partner loves a nice, clean cut without being hassled for being a woman or a lesbian in a shop full of men. She has a great barber who is not only a barber, but a big brother. They met through church and remained good friends. I love this big, cuddly teddy bear of a dude. He treats everyone with respect and gets respect just from being a truly decent guy. We never feel uncomfortable being the only lesbians in a barbershop full of guys. And it’s not just about us being his friends, he makes sure everyone feels appreciated and respected when he is around.
  1. The co-worker: My co-worker is a handsome, alpha male type. He’s very passionate, but also very kind and sensitive. When the Supreme Court ruled to support gay marriage nationally, he was the first to let me know. He was so excited and said, “It’s about damn time.” He also gives great advice and support.
  1. The gay guy: Some people say that gay men and lesbians don’t really get along because they have so little in common. Mainly lesbians are interested in women and gay men are interested in men. Regardless of the theory, for some reason I’ve always had close gay male friends. When I’m with my gay friends, I can be very open and free to be myself. They understand the struggle of being an anomaly and what it means to stand out as a black homosexual in the overwhelmingly Christian black community. There are certain things that I can talk to about that my straight BFFs will never really understand. They also understand white male privilege in a way that white queers will never understand. In turns they serve as counselors, confidantes and since we tend to have a dark sense of humor, we often end up laughing hysterically.

Of course this list is not exhaustive! I’d love to hear from you! Who are the men in your life that you rely on for support and regularly cherish?

We are not Freaks! Why We Love Being an Old School Butch-Femme Couple

Celebrating the old school butch-femme dynamic doesn't mean we are backward.  Image from The Watermelon Woman

Celebrating the old school butch-femme dynamic doesn’t mean we are backward. Image from The Watermelon Woman

Written by Miss Kitty

“My hard working Hersband will be coming home to a clean house, a wife showered and in a pretty new dress, and a southern belle-prepared dinner of baked chicken, pigeon peas and rice, collard greens, potato salad and a pineapple upside down cake (sugar free) for dessert! Following that up tonight with a romantic foot bath/massage. I feel bad that she doesn’t get much of a break from her busy work and school schedule, so she deserves it. Any little thing I can do to make her life easier or more pleasurable, that is my goal. Being her wife, I was made for it.” ~Miss Kitty

Look here, I do have respect for the “new school queers” who want to live genderless, gender fluid, role-less, label-less, etc., lives. That’s cool with me if that is who you truly identify as. That being said, you can live your lives without dogging and devaluing us old school butches and femmes.

We are not freaks. We are not close minded. We are not backwards. We are simply trying to be OURSELVES in peace.

 

That is the same thing that you claim to strive for. So many times I see comments like: “Neither one of us wears the pants. We are both equal,” or “We are both women,” or “We both work, cook, clean, yada, yada.” First of all, being a butch or femme does not make one inferior or superior to the other. We just have different energy types. One isn’t unequal to the other—that is just absurd ignorance.

The butch-femme dynamic has been around since the beginning of woman-to-woman love; just well hidden and repressed. But there, nonetheless. Second of all, women with predominantly masculine energy are still women, so I don’t see how that has anything to do with any valid point.

Sajdah Gold and Chanel Brown, who both appeared on the Real L Word, are a modern version of the butch-femme relationship.

Sajdah Gold and Chanel Brown, who both appeared on the Real L Word, are a modern version of the butch-femme relationship.

Plus, as for the “pants,” we all know straight women who rule over their pants-wearing husbands, which makes the whole pants comparison ridiculous. Lastly, earning money, cooking and cleaning can be done by anyone who wants a paycheck, food or a tidy house!

There are neat and clean butches and dirty and sloppy femmes. There are broke butches and wealthy femmes. There are butch chefs and femmes who can’t boil water. Stop with the crazy stereotypes and don’t use them to criticize the butch-femme dynamic! It doesn’t even make sense.

Some of us are 100% comfortable in how we are within our relationships and how we express our energy. Some people just happen to have a huge amount of feminine energy (like me) and some have more masculine.

Understand that within a butch-femme relationship, we perfectly complement each other and that works for us. It’s about the yin and the yang. I love and celebrate my femininity and trying to be anything else but who I am would be pure hell! So, leave us be.

I think there’s nothing more beautiful than diversity within our community. Be who you are proudly and unapologetically without being a queer elitist about it. In the end, we are all in the same rainbow boat.


MIss Kitty

Miss Kitty

Miss Kitty is an author, energy healer, tantric sex coach and modern day priestess! She writes under several pen names and is an imaginary architect, a literary traveler and erotic arts master. Her line of erotica is a sensual feast for the mind and body; which range from soft and deeply romantic to hardcore and kinky. Miss Kitty also has a selection of books on lesbian relationships, dating, magic spell work for love and sex and much more!  Click here to visit her Amazon bookstore.

5 Most Popular Stories on BlackLesbianLoveLab.com in 2014

Top5ArticlesThis year we had 119 great stories posted to Blacklesbianlovelab.com and a total of nearly 40,000 views! I have enjoyed sharing them all these stories and interviewing black lesbian couples and singles about their love lives. Below are the top 5 most popular stories on our site for 2014. If you missed reading them the first time, you might want to click through and check them out below:

5 8 Love Habits You Should Never Live Without

This story got 516 views! It had great tips!

L WORD MISSISSIPPI: HATE THE SIN