Single Black Lesbians Talk Motherhood

Black mom illustrationEvery day I stand amazed at the beauty, strength and resilience of black women! I’m especially amazed at the black lesbians who are raising their children without partners either by choice or by circumstances. Today at Black Lesbian Love Lab, we want to send out a big Mother’s Day shout-out to the single black lesbians who are raising children they gave birth to, children they adopted, children they foster and those who are aunties to children of their siblings or friends. We also wanted to highlight some of those women’s stories below:

StaceyAnn and her activist toddler, Zuri

StaceyAnn and her activist toddler, Zuri

Stacey Chin is probably one of the most well known single, black lesbian mothers today. Below is a video clip of her talking about how passionate she is about her adorable daughter, Zuri. She also talks about her background growing up in Jamaica:


I was equally moved by the following stories of black single lesbian women and their journeys to motherhood:

Ashley Targaryen shares her story in an Autostraddle article

Ashley Targaryen is making plans to have a child on her own.

Ashley Targaryen is making plans to have a child on her own.

“While doing research on other people’s experiences with sperm donation I read in a book, Knock Yourself Up, that if you couldn’t afford to buy one vial of sperm per month and pay the doctor’s office fees for insemination, that you couldn’t afford a baby.

It gave me pause and made me wonder if I was too poor to have a kid. I wondered if I should wait. Then I realized that people who made less than me made it work so I probably could as well.

If I waited until I felt certain that I made enough money I might never have a child. I had already done the work of securing a support system of people willing to help me and researched what kind of social support services I could turn to if the need arose. It would have to be enough. The idea that if one didn’t have $800-900 of disposable income per month they shouldn’t have kids is classist as hell anyway so fuck that noise.”

READ THE ARTICLE HERE.

LezIntellect of Diary of a Black Lesbian

“I want children. That’s no secret. I am going on 30 years old this year and that clock is ticking. I swear I will NEVER bring any children into this world as a single parent. I do hope to one day meet the right woman and have children with her. That is the plan. In the meantime, I think I will busy myself looking for OUR sperm donor.
I can’t imagine this task will be hard. The world is full of men. The world is full of black men. The world is full of thirsty ass niggas, who don’t give a solid shit about their sperm. A lot of dudes out here just want to get a nut…damn the product that comes from it.
I’m just keeping it 100. I don’t think there is another race of man as emotionally nonchalant about their seed as African American men. So, I can honestly say I’m not sweating this task. I will say I want to be friends with this individual…if only for the sake of the kids who might want to get to know him one day.”
Kristi K of The KWord

“Okay so as many of my friends and family know, I want to have a little KK.  The

The many faces of Kristi K

The many faces of Kristi K

realization alone has been a scary one since for many years I said it would be me and Champagne (my puppy, not the libation) together forever. I said it so much I believed it… and then I didn’t. I guess it started when my grand nephews were born. They were beautiful and small and I was old enough to appreciate it. I wanted to protect them, educate them and foster their growth. And then I turned 30… and then 31… and… yeah older than 31.

I own my house. I have a profession. I have a large support system. I have a woman who wants to be my partner in this journey. ffe3c2937b32487b18472561ccca58b1I have more than a lot of mothers have had.”

READ THE ARTICLE HERE.

About Our Love: Karen and Jordyn

The happy couple unveils a Christmas gift for their daughter.

Karen (left) and Jordyn unveil a Christmas gift for their daughter, Londyn.

Written by Karen Briscoe

We are family. I’m Karen, my partner is Jordyn and our baby girl is Londyn. Although Jordyn and I are not yet legally married, the papers don’t matter to us because we are completely committed to each other.

What is family to us? To us, family is willing to sacrifice anything and everything to make sure no one is missing or needing anything. Family means having the back of your partner and children whether they are right or wrong. We complete each other.

 

I first met Jordyn in April 2010 through mutual friends. I was attracted to her beautiful, big smile, and she was attracted to my snarky attitude—I am a sexy, smart ass.

We started talking for a while and ended up losing touch. We found each other again in late 2011 and decided we should get together and take the next step. We have been together for a little over three years.

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We really do keep our relationship fun. We constantly try new things and bug each other by doing annoying shit because that’s just who we are. Lol. We spoil each other to show appreciation, but it is not always materialistic. We also believe that honesty goes a long way! We don’t keep anything hidden because it always comes to light.

We have no support whatsoever from our families, but we love each other. Obviously more then they love us, because we stayed by each other through hell and back a few times!

Our families don’t support gay relationships period. But I knew I liked women more than I was suppose to in early middle school. I was never sure that I wanted to make my life with a woman. I just fell completely in love with Jordyn and we started doing what made us happy.


Karen, Jordyn and their daughter, Londyn, live in Colorado.

Big Love: Teves & Vonetta Are Moms to Seven Children

Vonetta Lee and Teves Mobley-Lee are parents to seven children, five of whom are adopted.

Vonetta Lee and Teves Mobley-Lee are parents to seven children, five of whom are adopted.

Reprinted from the Huffington Post/RaiseAChild.Us

Teves Lee and Vonetta Mobley-Lee are two hard-working, black lesbian moms from Long Beach, California who adopted five of their seven children through the foster care system and say that they could not be more blessed.

Teves, 41, is a fifth-generation barber and the owner of Afros of Hollywood Barber and Beauty Salon. Vonetta, 38, worked as a bus operator for 15 years prior to becoming a stay-at-home mom. They met 21 years ago through a mutual friend when Teves’ biological daughter, Kyrstena, was one year old and became a couple 14 years ago. Together they founded and run a nonprofit called Haven of Hope Foundation in Long Beach that houses homeless individuals, including single mothers and fathers, homeless teens and former foster youth.

While her children are in school, Vonetta tends to the nonprofit by conducting intakes of new residents, meeting with case managers and so forth. In the evenings, Teves often teaches at Marinello’s School of Beauty in Boyle Heights, so Vonetta teams up with the oldest daughter, Kyrstena, who is 22, to help the younger kids with their homework. The children attend church every Saturday and enjoy family outings on most Sundays.

The youngest members of the Mobley-Lee clan are all dressed up in their church best.

The youngest members of the Mobley-Lee clan are all dressed up in their church best.

The couple originally focused on fostering, but when reunification of the foster children with their biological family fell through, Teves and Vonetta decided to adopt them. Ultimately, Vonetta adopted TeVon, Teves’ second biological child, who is now 10 years old, and together the couple adopted five foster children. Only a few children who came to their home did not end up staying.

The family lives in a 7,000 square-foot house with seven bedrooms, seven bathrooms and a good-sized yard sheltered by high brick walls. They have three dogs, Mister, Dosha and Seven, who was a gift to Vonetta on the couple’s seventh anniversary. The menagerie also includes six new puppies that TeVon and Kyrstena delivered, an African Grey parrot named Huckleberry and a couple of little fish.

If the large two-mom family seems unusual to anyone, they keep it to themselves.

Teves herself grew up in All Saints Church of God and Christ, formerly Jesus Memorial Church of God in Christ where her uncle is the pastor, and for her there is no compromising when it comes to its role in her life.

“They weren’t that happy with the dynamics of my family,” said Teves of the church, “but that’s what my family is so they really have no choice but to accept it … But if you don’t give people the room to have a problem with it, then how can they?”

What Teves would most like to share with prospective foster-adoptive parents is encouragement for individuals who may be nontraditional or non-gender conforming, or who may have small criminal matters in their past.

Teves and Vonetta became a couple 14 years ago.

Teves and Vonetta became a couple 14 years ago.

“Gay couples, especially ‘aggressive’ females, may feel society sees them as unfit to be a parent and I didn’t come across any of that kind of stereotyping whatsoever,” said Teves, who had initially feared her tattoos and masculine personality might cause the foster agency to reject her. “Not to say that it’s not out there or that it wouldn’t happen, but I personally didn’t experience any of that. I would also want to tell people that if you’ve had a legal history of some sort or hiccup in the past, it might not automatically disqualify you so do your research.

Having a lot of children was not part of Vonetta’s plan but she fell in love with them, and now she wouldn’t have it any other way.

These Mommies Demand That Ohio Respect Their Family

Although Brittani Henry & Brittni Rogers got married in New York in January, their home state of Ohio did not recognize their marriage. As they prepared to start their family, they knew that both their names would not be listed on their child’s birth certificate. According to Adam Polaski, the two joined other same-sex couples in seeking that their out-of-state marriage be listed on their child’s birth certificate. Judge Timothy Black agreed and ruled in their favor in April.

On August 6, their case was among six that the United States Court of Appeals for the 6th Circuit heard from couples seeking the freedom to marry or respect for marriages legally performed in other states. The cases involved four states—Kentucky, Ohio, Michigan, and Tennessee.

Read more about other couples standing up to the sixth circuit on the Freedom to Marry website.