Eight Years After Falling in Love With Her, My Wife Has Changed

Ayesha and Cicely model their healthy new bodies.
Cicely and Ayesha are healthier than ever.

Cicely and Ayesha have seen dramatic changes in their lives since they committed to eating better and exercising more.

Written by Ayesha Forte

I remember getting my gallbladder removed on December 25, 2010. It was a horribly painful experience, but it was the best Christmas gift I ever got. After that, I was determined to change my eating habits. My wife, Cicely, and I had been thinking about becoming vegetarians. After watching several documentaries that exposed the cruel environments that the animals lived in, that was it for us. We never looked back.

Changing our eating habits was merely part of the battle. Our ultimate goal was to completely change our lifestyle—mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

First we supported each other in quitting smoking then, we took it further and became vegetarians. About a year ago, we committed to working out between four and five days a week.

So, we definitely needed healthy meals to keep these bodies moving.

 

We come from a family of cooks so home cooking is extremely important to us! Since becoming vegetarians three years ago, I’ve taken over the kitchen. We cook together sometimes, but truly I enjoy cooking for my family and presenting to them what I made for them. This makes me feel like a proud mother and wife.

 

It Wasn’t a Special Occasion

A mix of Italian and Mexican vegetarian meal.

Ayesha loves cooking for her family. This is one of her favorite meals to cook.

I remember coming home after a 10-hour workday at our shop (Glory Crown Beauty & Barber Shop) and heading straight to the kitchen. I had just bought a new cookbook and I was super excited about preparing Baked Mexican Spinach Dip with Toasted French Bread and Black Bean Lasagna Rolls.

 

When I was done, I served my wife. We cuddled up on the couch in our PJs and just grubbed. Did I mention that we worked all day? For my first attempt, I did pretty good and she loved the meal! It wasn’t a special occasion, but it is one of my favorite memories.

 

Everything Has Changed

Ayesha and Cicely model their healthy new bodies.

Ayesha and Cicely are thrilled at the changes they’ve seen on a spiritual, mental and physical level.

Since we began our journey to health three years ago, everything has changed, from our immune systems to the people we have around us. When you’ve fought to keep your peace and positive energy, you become very selective about whom you allow in your circle.

With us being entrepreneurs, time is money, but our gym time is priceless. We know that no amount of money will ever give us peace of mind. The gym is our sanctuary.

We now embrace change and will continue to motivate each other to be the best versions of ourselves. In turn, it brought us closer to one another. When you look good you can’t help but feel good!

 

Advice on Embracing Healthy Change as a Couple

You have to find a balance, yin and yang. As a married couple, we have to be on the same page. Sometimes Cicely has to carry the heavier load that week to make sure things get done and vice versa on my end.

For other couples looking to make a change this year, our best advice is that you hold yourself and each other accountable.

You cannot say you’re going to make a lifestyle change and only halfway clean up your act! It’s not going to be easy but that’s what makes it more rewarding. Trust the journey and go hard or not at all. Mediocrity and success is all in your perception!

 


 

Cicely and Ayesha recently celebrated their eighth anniversary in November 2015. They live in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

This Southern Femme Is Willing to Do Anything for Her Stud …

Sherrita gets busy in the kitchen preparing Sunday dinner for her family.

Sherrita gets busy in the kitchen preparing Sunday dinner for her family.

It was an early Sunday morning and Sherrita Sanders was up hours before her wife, Katrina, doing something she normally doesn’t do. She is getting a start on Sunday dinner. As a black lesbian femme living in the South, where soul food is central to family gatherings, people expect the femme to be queen of the kitchen.

“Funny thing about me cooking is that I don’t do it because I don’t know how to,” Sherrita confessed. “But I will learn … anything to make her life easier.”

Sherrita is used to her wife, a stud, doing all the cooking. But this morning, “I just wanted to let her sleep. She worked seven days this week.”

She added, “I am so blessed! She does this for our house four times a week but I just need for her to relax and let me take care of her.”

Even though cooking is Katrina’s passion, Sherrita said it was important for her to start helping her “Ace” with the cooking. Especially on Sundays, when friends and family come over to their home for dinner, laughs and conversation.

In order to give her wife a break, Sherrita bought cookbooks and is getting advice from friends and family about how to put together a delicious meal! In addition to getting advice on how to heat things up in the kitchen, she says she’s also getting marriage tips from women in her family who are more experienced in matters of marriage and cooking.

Katrina and Sherrita Sanders got married March 2015.

Katrina and Sherrita Sanders got married March 2015.

When she was done throwing down in the kitchen today, both Sherrita and Katrina were pleased, proud and happy.

“We do what works and what keeps love and compassion fresh in our marriage no matter what role we hold in the relationship,” Sherrita says.

The Sanders, who got married in March, live in Houston, Texas.

The Sanders Sunday Dinner Menu

Cornbread chicken dressing

Cabbage

Pork steaks

Rice with gravy

Banana pudding for desert

 

Don't you just wish you could grab a plate?

Dinner at the Sanders’ home is served!

 

Love & Food: The Way to a Woman’s Heart

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Written by Zamara Perri

 

Last fall I met the woman who would eventually become my sweetheart and partner. From the very beginning, she made it clear that food was one of her top three pleasures in life. It turns out that enjoying a good home-cooked meal is one of the passions we share and so it is not surprising that food has been central to our relationship. In fact, knowing how to cook played a big part in me stealing her heart.

 

Food was the whole reason we even met! We met September 19, 2014 at a friend’s housewarming party. I had no interest in going to this party, because I already made plans to go to Wholefoods, cook and watch a movie. However, at the last minute my friend convinced me to drive all the way to Baltimore on a Friday night.

 

How did she convince a homebody like myself to leave the house? My friend, who is a phenomenal cook, promised me a homemade vegetarian meal. I’m picky about who I eat from, but my friend is a great cook.

 

I didn’t even try to look cute. I showed up at the party wearing a little gray dress and flip flops. It was a little like something out of a movie. I saw this woman across the room who I thought was a cutie pie. She had come straight from the gym and was wearing a white T-shirt and black sweatpants. (I later found out that she really didn’t cook much and came for the free food.)

 

She claims she asked me to dance.  I don’t remember that. We exchanged numbers through our mutual friend and 11 days later went on our first date to a vegan restaurant. She ordered the Pad Thai and I ordered ravioli. We talked for about three hours at the restaurant.

The second date was a Scandal watch party at the same friend’s house. Again there was food. Our next few dates were in the café section of a Wegman’s grocery store.

 

Even though she really doesn’t cook well (and I’m not exaggerating she almost burned the house down TWICE trying to boil an egg), she cooked for me on one of our first dates at her house. She was so cute dancing around the kitchen preparing a stir fry with every vegetable known to man.

 

I am one of those people who had an extensive Pinterest page filled with recipes that I knew I was never going to cook. But when my honey came around, I was inspired to start actually try those recipes. I kind of had to. When we first started dating, she ate rice, chicken and vegetables every day because that was all she knew how to cook. I felt a little sorry for her and at the same time wanted to liven up her food repertoire.

 

Because it was getting cold outside and we were both homebodies, we cooked a lot, cuddled a lot and talked a lot. It didn’t seem to matter what I cooked; she would clean the plate, then look at me and joke, “That was soo disgusting!” And we’d both laugh. We even had a deal, I cooked and she washed the dishes.

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Food is Love

Our mutual friend was surprised to find out how much cooking I was doing. When I asked myself why I was doing this, I realized that I cooked for her because it felt good knowing she was so appreciative of my efforts.

 

In our deeper conversations, we’ve also admitted that the nurturing aspect is one of the most attractive things about having a partner who cooks. Both of us grew up in unstable homes, so cooking for her brought out my nurturing side and made her feel loved.

 

In the space of one year, we met, fell in love, moved in together and are building a life together. At the heart of all that bonding and planning, are omelets, grilled cheese sandwiches, waffles, salads, fish tacos, nachos, stuffed chicken breasts, pastas, lasagnas, hotdogs, chilies, home made pizzas, black bean soups and numerous other delicious meals. Just the other night we enjoyed roasted corn chowder and pepper soup, a kale salad with avocado dressing and a Gouda and raspberry jam Panini! It was so good!

 

And over the past year, my honey has learned to “cook” a bit more. She makes the best green smoothies and pretty good oatmeal. I still prepare 95 percent of our meals.

 

The old saying is really true: The way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach!

We are starting a new section of the website focused on sharing black lesbian stories of food and love. Please email us a photo of you and your partner/wife/date/cuddle buddy/crush and photos of your favorite meals! Share the recipe and tell us why this is your favorite meal. Singles can get in on the action too! Show us your go-to “lock her down” recipes 🙂

 

#‎TheWayToAWomansHeartIsThruHerStomach ‪#‎lesbiansInTheKitchen ‪#‎SheCooks4Her ‪#‎LesbianFoodie ‪#‎FallMeals ‪#‎ComfortFoods ‪#‎CuffinSeasonRecipe