Lisa & Roshanda: She Walked Into the Bus Station and Stole My Heart

black lesbian brides embrace in a gazebo
black lesbian couples at restaurant laughing happily

Lisa and Roshanda lean in for a photo at a restaurant.

Written by Lisa Lockhart

I met my wife, Roshanda, on a dating site. I was in Jacksonville, Florida, and she was in Tampa, Florida. As we were talking on the phone, I found myself really liking this woman who I had never met. So, I decided it was time we meet.

I went to Tampa by Greyhound and I must admit, I was a little nervous. As the Greyhound bus was pulling into Tampa, I had all these butterflies in my stomach.

As I waited for her, in walked a little, petite woman who had a bouquet of flowers for me. When I saw her eyes, I was hooked.

Our first date was at this restaurant called Martha’s in Tampa. While we waited on our food, we talked and we both liked what we saw. Our first dinner date was at a restaurant that serves authentic Mexican cuisine.

I Knew She Was Special

black lesbian brides embrace in a gazebo

Lisa and Roshanda got married in May 2015.

After leaving her that day, I knew she was special. For two years, we had a long-distance relationship. After realizing that I had fallen in love with her, I knew I wanted to be with her. When I confessed that I loved her, she was speechless at first, and she said she loved me too.

When she proposed, it had me in tears. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so I moved to Tampa and I got a job transfer. We got married on my birthday, May 20, 2015.

 

We Take Care of Each Other

We make sure we take care of each other. She has dyslexia and I make sure that I remind her that she is a great, creative person. She has had a rough life, from being adopted to being sexually and physically abused. Still, she has a great head on her shoulders.

I love how my wife supports me and loves me with my epilepsy. I love her because of her heart. She is always there for me and I love her with all her imperfections. She says she loves my eyes and my face and calls me “Fancyface.”

Our Family

black lesbian mom and step daughter high school graduation

Lisa stands proudly with her stepdaughter, Keisha, at her high school graduation.

I never had any kids and another bonus was getting to know Roshanda’s daughter, Keisha. Even though Keisha was shy, we hit it off right away. She doesn’t stay with us, but it feels good to have a daughter. I get to buy her make up and give her advice.

Georgette and Shannon: There Are Levels To This Love

black lesbian family photo

 

Shannon and Georgette are dressed up and out on the town.

Shannon and Georgette believe gender loving families are beautiful, worthy and blessed.

This story was updated March 2, 2016.

Nearly four years ago Georgette and Shannon met online. Although they clashed from the very beginning, they couldn’t help but explore the connection they shared. The happy couple, who moved in together the last weekend in February, share their love story below:

Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): How did you meet?

Shannon: We met on line. She was rude on our first date. We actually bumped heads from the very beginning, which is what I believe somehow made us become more drawn to each other.

Georgette: We met in August 2012. I saw her profile and was drawn to her, so I reached out and she responded.

BL3: What attracted you to each other?

Georgette: I liked what she wrote in her profile and her sense of style. When we exchanged phone numbers and started communicating over the phone,I enjoyed our conversations and her intelligence. We couldn’t get along though (lol), we would always clash because our strong personalities. We spoke via phone for eight months before we ever met up. We were both dating other people but would always keep in touch often enough to remain in each other’s life.

Shannon: Georgette was very “feisty,” beautiful, and intelligent. Our initial conversations were intriguing, had depth, and allowed us to see the parts of each other’s personality that most don’t get to see for months, if not years.

 

BL3: What do you love about each other?

Shannon: I love how nurturing and protective she can be. She’s also one of the sexiest women I’ve ever met, and she absolutely adores me.

One last thing that other women tend to forget, she loves the woman I am. She understands the aspects of me that aren’t, or are less feminine, but she always treats me like the woman I am.

 

Georgette: What I love about her is her passion, her intelligence, her heart especially towards our daughter, her leadership, dependability, her willingness to grow, her love for family, her sense of style and smell. OMG she is beautiful and sexy!

 

Bl3: Tell us about your first date.

Shannon: She lived in Jacksonville, Fla., and I lived three hours away in St. Petersburg. I went to visit her in Jacksonville, and we went out to dinner at a restaurant. It was an unconventional first date because I would be spending time with her for the entire weekend. She seemed a bit timid at first, but became much more at ease toward the end.

Georgette: Well actually, our first date was at the beach one Saturday morning. It was very calming and relaxing. We held each other’s hands as we took a stroll. I can still remember how I felt that day. I felt like I found home. I have pictures of that scenery. I laid my head on her chest and it was then I knew I was going to fall.

BL3: How long have you been together?

Shannon: While we’ve known each other for a little over three years, we’ve been dating for 1.5 years, and in a committed relationship for nine months. It’s levels to this!

Georgette: April 5, 2016 will make two years since we’ve officially been together.

 

The Gift of Commitment

black lesbian couple black, white and pink

Within months of meeting, Shannon and Georgette knew they would one day marry each other.

BL3: Are you interested in getting married?

Shannon: We are both two people of quality who believe that whatever you put in your relationship is exactly the fruit it bears.

Though we aren’t legally married or officially engaged, we speak infinite love, life, family and everlasting growth into our relationship. About three or four months into dating, we came to terms that we would be married one day. Ultimately, we share the same vision, perception, and beliefs of what we feel marriage, family, and parenting should be.

Georgette: We believing in waiting and making sure things are in order before we take the big step. However, marriage is in the making within a year or two.

BL3: Tell us a little about your family life.

Georgette: We have one daughter. Ever since they have met our daughter claimed her as her mom. After six months she started to call Shannnon mommy and is committed to it! She is protective of her mommy Shanney and thinks highly of her. I love that about my family, we are very close and care deeply for each other. We travel a lot and do a lot together. We love to dress alike or compliment each other’s dress. We love spending time together.

 

black lesbian family purple

Shannon and Georgette believe that whatever you put in your relationship is exactly the fruit it bears!

BL3: What’s the best gift have you gotten from each other?

Georgette: For me it’s the gift of quality time, passion affection and love. The gift of safety and security. Whenever she gives me these gifts I feel unbreakable, alive and as if I’m in heaven.

Shannon: Georgette allowing me to be a part of her daughter’s life. I’ve been given the gift of motherhood and unconditional love. I love my family and pray that the world will grow to understand that same-gender loving families are beautiful, worthy and blessed.

God Gave Me A Second Chance With My Soul Mate

Asia and Eula have been together three years.

Asia and Eula are celebrating three years of being together.

 

Written by Asia Hamilton

My partner, Eula, and I come from very abusive childhoods. For years upon years our bodies, minds, hearts, souls and spirits were slowly being destroyed. Still, we survived abuse, neglect, abandonment and unfaithfulness.

Roughly five years ago, we saw each other at a pride festival. Eula says that was the moment she knew she found the ONE. At the time we had both been through very bad relationships, and I just wasn’t ready to be hurt again and I didn’t want to hurt someone else either.

A few months went by, and as sweet and persistent as Eula was about making me hers, it just wasn’t the right time. I ended up dating someone else and she ended up getting back with an ex. So truly, I saved us both from making a spur of the moment decision, or so I thought.

We cut all communication for about two years. While in those relationships, we again received ill treatment from our partners, until we just couldn’t take it anymore.

 

Our Second Chance

Asia and Eula intimate upside down kiss.

Asia knows that it was God gave her a second chance to be with her soul mate, Eula.

I’d say maybe three to four months or so after my breakup, I saw Eula again, for the first time in all those years. However, this time when I saw her, I got that “this is the ONE feeling” almost instantly, but she just wasn’t the same. I didn’t realize that I had hurt her all those years ago by not dating her, but that very night she told me she had been waiting years to be with me.

She said that she KNEW God would bring me back to her because it’s all she prayed for. I guess the reason I’m writing this is because I could have had this love a long time ago. I was hurt, stubborn, selfish, uncaring, and unforgiving. I allowed my past and my pride to control my feelings and actions.

Yes, I do believe that everything works out according to His plan, but this was HIM giving me everything I deserved, I just didn’t listen. This time felt so different though. I did everything I could to prove that I was truly sorry and made the wrong choice, and after a while she forgave me. We have been together for almost three years now.

I chose to share this story with you all because I want you to know how important it is to listen to that little voice inside your head. If you feel like God or something is compelling you to act, then do so.

As soon as you put evil, pride, hurt, selfishness, and all negativity behind you, you’ll be surprised who you could fall in love with, and better yet, who could be falling for you.

 

We Hold Each Other Down

Asia kisses Eula's cheek

Eula (right) smiles as Asia plans a kiss on her cheek.

Eula is the BEST partner I could ever ask for and I know she’d say the same about me. Together, we have taught each other the true meaning of love, respect, forgiveness, patience, compassion, empathy, understanding, dedication, hard work, and spiritualism. No matter what we went through, what we go through, or what we could go through, we have been and will continue to be there for one another.

Even when we were separated and living separately we STILL held each other down. For us that meant me working two jobs when she lost hers, or vice versa when I lost mine. We refuse to let each other sink. I appreciate and love her for not only being the best partner I could ever have, but because we chose to become best friends first.

At the beginning of last year, nothing was going right, but here we are at its end and I’m blessed with tears of joy! We chose to believe in Him, in ourselves, in each other, in better, in something!

I was raised very religious and I knew for a fact that if we did right by the Lord, He would love, protect, and provide for us in ways no other person could, including each other.

 

In 2015, we became soul mates. Together, we faced two near-death experiences, which totaled two of our cars; I caught a charge; we were cast out by our families; and there were times when we didn’t even have food to eat.

 

However, in 2015, we also paid off over $10,000 in debt and student loans, built up our credit scores, bought and sold five cars, moved out of our childhood prisons (homes), took four vacations, got raises and promotions through our jobs, and now we are getting ready to plan a wedding and start saving for our future children!

About Our Love: Why I Waited Five Years to Marry My College Sweetheart

Tre and Maia nuzzle each other.
Tre and Maia looking supa dupa fly.

Tre and Maia are college sweethearts who married after five years of dating.

Written by Tresaun Lee

I always want to tell people that we (me and Maia) met in some real crazy romantic scenario but truthfully it was online. We both went to the same university but had never before spoken to one another. She claimed to have seen me on campus before and was too shy to say something. One random night in October 2008 we both happened to be on Downelink.

I said something to her cuz she was the only one in the chat room on video and not typing. She didn’t like the setup and said it was too hard to keep up with the convos and that sparked a private IM session. Before long, we were speaking for hours. After we spoke online for awhile we kept promising to link up on campus, but our classes never aligned so she invited me to her house in the city for dinner one night.

She made me pesto pasta, we watched movies, drank and talked. She lived on a popular street in the city so we walked the length of it, perusing shops and flirting then ended up down by the waterfront. It was pretty chill but also very intimate. I have never left her side after that night. Lol.

 

I Fell in Love

A couple months after we met, I asked her to be exclusive and about a year and some change later, I asked her to be my wife. I’d say I fell in love with her after she went back home to visit family in another country. Never missed someone so much and it was weird cuz from the day we met, we didn’t spend a day apart.

What I love about her is that she is her own person. She is very much like my mother, which I love and hate. She is stubborn and compassionate. Headstrong and committed. What some see as shy and quiet I see as mysterious and layered.

It’s like she reserves her real self for me only and she too sees my demons and angels without me having to verbalize much.

I hate to say it but she is my best friend and not cuz we get along and make a good team but also cuz she knows me where I dunno myself.

 

The Secret to a Long-Lasting Relationship

Tre and Maia laughing in an alley

Tre and Maia laugh together in the midst of a photo shoot.

If you ask me what’s the secret to making a relationship last, I’ll say, there’s is no damn secret! LoL. It’s hard as hell. The secret is that it takes real life work.

People wanna believe in fairyt ales and the one and only but that is still another living breathing person. We forget our love can be narcissistic and demanding and that our counterparts aren’t puppets.

I think mostly my wife and I are happy with our relationship because we can talk to one another when we need to. Even if it’s the same thing it’s not nagging. We share ourselves and try to lift each other up.

Because I get to see the blood, sweat and tears she puts into making me and allowing me to be the woman I am … I too, wanna reciprocate and show her I’m there to do the same when she needs it. It’s nice to think it’s 50/50 but it never is. Someone always needs the other more and I’m glad my wife knows about realistic compromise and how to keep not only me happy, but our relationship fresh.

 

I Believe in Non-Conventional Relationships, But Still Wanted a Wife

For me marriage symbolizes a step toward a future. And of course I believe in non-conventional relationships, but I always wanted a wife. When I met mine, I really was partly afraid I would lose someone so important to me without making that grand gesture. Another part of me wanted to show her how serious I was about being just as important in her life.

We had agreed to wait for her to graduate but unbeknownst to us at the time, that two-year plan had become an eight-year one. I felt like her unwillingness to compromise was a larger issue to making me wait on her timeline and she felt like me pressuring her was speaking to me never being satisfied.

What we ended up doing was getting married without the bells and whistles and planning for something larger once she’s out of school. We both had to compromise. We both got a little of what we wanted but in the end I think our relationship got what it needed.

We approached a subject we hated to speak about in a million different ways. We talked till we were blue in the face, we cried and laughed. And in the end it was worth it cuz I know why I wanted her as a wife. No other woman is worth waiting five years for. And soon we’ll have been together 10 years, and I can’t believe it’s only the beginning.


 

Tre and Maia are in their early 30s and live in Philadelphia. Tre is a poet. Here is a poem she wrote for Maia.

Alisha & Skye: A Beautiful Mind and Her Good Luck Charm

Skye and Alisha selfie
Skye and Alisha selfie

Skye and Alisha Jones’ love grew out of honest conversation.

Skye Jones daily doles out wisdom on life, spirituality, family and love to her hundreds of followers on Facebook. Her outlook on life and the obvious love she has for her wife, Alisha, and daughter, Jada, is so inspiring and a reminder to all black lesbians to never give up on having the life of our dreams. The couple graciously took time to talk with us about how they built their love and life together:

Black Lesbian Love Lab (BL3): How did you two meet?

Skye: We actually met on Facebook. We were Facebook friends for a while and one day Alisha posted that she was bored, I was new to Raleigh N.C., so I [messaged] her. We talked through inbox a few times. I made it known I wasn’t looking for anything serious, and neither was she. We eventually exchanged numbers, she would call and text, we would speak briefly about our day.

As time passed, she began to ask if we could hang out, I was skeptical. After a few months passed, one night I finally said, yes. The next afternoon she came over, I was having a BAD day, and in a place in my life where I didn’t care what she or anyone thought of me. So of course I had on an old T-shirt and sweats, hair was all over my head. I opened the door, when I saw her my heart skipped a beat. All I could think was, “Dang she sexy.”

 

Alisha aka AJ: Everything she wrote is true, my first thought when she opened the door, was, “Finally I get to meet the woman with the beautiful mind.” I still don’t remember the sweats or the T-shirt. The front room didn’t have much light so when she turned the lights on, the first thing I saw was her beautiful eyes. Then I got very nervous, because I knew I didn’t want to mess this up.

 

Skye: She ended up staying the night. She held me in a way that I had never been held before. She never rushed or even mentioned sex; it took us a while to get to that point. We talked about things that probably shouldn’t have been discussed on the first meeting. Things like hurt from past relationships and family. But it actually set the tone for where we are today. From that first night she stayed with me she has literally been in my bed, now our bed, every single night. She never went home. We both laugh because that’s something we’ve NEVER done.

 

BL3: What attracted you to each other?

Alisha: Her mind, her conversation. I never met someone who looks at life the way she does. It’s almost like something off of the television. She’s the biggest dreamer I’ve ever met, but not only does she dream she goes out and tries to make all her dreams come true, and does well at it. But to top it off she dreams, then pushes me to dream, and won’t take no for an answer. That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

Skye: Her conversation, we could talk, and still talk for hours about any and everything. She knows a little about everything, and I LOVE IT!! I’m a talker, and a dreamer. Good looks will get my attention but great conversation and intelligence will keep me. That was very hard for me to come across before meeting her. She’s also super corny (lol) and I mean that in a sweet way. She is such a cornball, but it’s cute and is 95 percent of the reason we laugh as much as we do.

 

BL3: What was your first date like?

Skye: She picked me up, right after work from my apartment. It was summer time, all I had time for was a quick change of shoes into some flip flops. She had her dog in the car, she drove us to the park, we walked around the lake, stopped to feed the ducks and we laughed.

 

I was in a bad place in my life before meeting her. We both went through terrible breakups. But she was always smiling ear to ear when she saw me, and I was still skeptical. She grabbed my hand, asked if I was ok, I answered yes. She stopped and hugged me, and said, “I don’t want to scare you. But I’m going to marry you one day.” My thoughts were, “Umm hmm ok let’s just get to the next day first lol.” She said this a lot through out the time we dated.

 

Alisha: Yes our first date was exactly how she said it. We walked around the park, I held her hand; it was perfect. Even though I went through a bad break up, there was something about her that made me not even care or think about the past anymore.

 

All I knew is I wanted her, and was going to do whatever it took to get and keep her.

 

We both had been hurt, I was glad we experienced that. Because I knew I could love her past any hurt someone else caused her; I wanted to make sure she felt the same. And when she spoke I knew she was the one, and was tired of games, all she wanted was something and someone real.

 

BL3: How long have you been together?  

Skye and Alisha: We officially started dating April 1, 2012. But even before making it official it was just the two of us. We didn’t see other people, didn’t have outsiders calling our phone, we just didn’t have a title. But after the title, nothing changed we were already doing the things couples should do.

 

BL3: What do you love about each other?

Skye: I love that she took the time to get to know me, and now understands me in a way no one ever has. She fights for us, no matter how tough things get, she’s right there ready to do whatever we need to do to make things better.

I love that love can be seen in her eyes, and through her actions. She tells me every day, but even if she didn’t I can always see it when I look at her. I know that sounds cliché or like a story from TV but its the absolute truth, and the first time in my life I’ve ever seen love in someone eyes. I look at her sometimes, and before she can say anything I say, “You love me.” And that’s me not asking but telling her, because it’s so clear.

 

Alisha: I love that she pushes herself, me our entire family to be the very best. She reminds us each day how important having a relationship with God is. She went from a dark place, and now she is the most positive person I know.

She sees greatness in herself and me, this woman believes and will make you believe that you can do whatever in life you want to do, and if you tell her “no,” with time she will truly prove you wrong. Some people have a rabbit’s foot, but she’s my good luck charm. Being around her, I’ve witnessed great things happen. I never thought in a million years I’d be this person. She changed my way of thinking, and how I see life.

Next, the couple talks about their marriage and adopting a little girl.

Following Society’s Rules Kept Me in an Abusive Relationship

Temeka and Carol never stopped loving each other
Temeka and Carol met and fell in love in college.

Temeka and Carol met and fell in love in college.

Written by Temeka Burton

In 2001 was a freshman at a small historically black Christian college in South Carolina and she was a sophomore when I first met her. I watched Carol for about two months and I made the first move on her. It was her walk, talk, and natural beauty that had me love struck, and I showed up everywhere she went until she noticed me.

I fell so deep in love until the only thing I did was breathe, sleep, and eat this chick. We were together for about six months. At the time we both met, we each had one child.

My son’s father got mad because I stopped coming home, and he told my mom that I was dating a female and that’s why no one could ever find me. After about a couple of months, my parents stepped in and threatened to never see me again.

I’m my daddy’s little girl and the only girl, so he said if I’m going to be with a woman, I can count him out of my life. If anyone knew me then, they can tell you that I valued that man’s opinion above all else. I couldn’t go on without having my father in my life and at the time I was only 19.

I went to Carol’s dorm room and told her once I left school, I was not coming back. She was devastated, she cried and begged me not to leave. The hurt in her eyes felt like a dagger in my heart. (We still discuss this 14 years later.) She tells me her whole world crumbled that night.

I left school and pretended like this never happened.

 

My Children Need Their Father, Right?

I started dating a guy who I stayed with for 10 years, and for the last 8 of them I knew it was not for me. By the end of those years, I had four babies and my motto was, I didn’t want my children to be raised without a dad.

I first met my kids’ father when we were in the 6th grade. So when I left Carol, I just went back to a familiar place, that was him.

The first two years were okay. I managed to suppress my feelings for females until I almost fooled myself.

My kids’ father knew I had been intimate with a female and knew I wanted Carol back. In 2005 I told him I was no longer happy, but we could stay together for our kids’ sake.

I endured physical, sexual, and mental abuse from him. He made me feel like if I left him, no one would want me because I had four kids, so I stayed.

He started staying home more and I found myself flinching when he touched me or tried to kiss me. When it was time for bed, I would fall asleep on the couch; and if I was in the bed, I was up by the time he came to lay down.

My Mother Gave Me Permission to Leave

In 2010 I was so depressed my mother was like, “I see you are not happy, so leave or go to therapy.”

I started being angry and I started preparing myself mentally, physically and financially to leave. I started talking to my kids telling them that, “mommy and daddy will not be living together.” I never dressed up or did my hair so I started pampering myself so I could feel like I was beautiful.

How I Reconnected With Her

What Happens When a Lesbian Falls in Love With A Bisexual Woman?

Renata and Tysha

Tysha and Renata were only supposed to be friends.

Written by Renata J. Austin Hall

 

After my relationship of five years ended, I spent a year being single. I was getting to know myself. I started to do what I love again: styling hair, traveling, writing poetry, sketching, reading and embracing my family.

When I decided to date again, I signed up for an online dating service. I felt it was time for me to date and have fun. I was introducing my heart for the first time, so I wore it on my sleeve proudly. During my season of dating I encountered some craziness, but regardless of the situations, I remained optimistic and happy. Despite what I encountered, I knew God was protecting me, which kept me happy.

Now let me fast forward to October 11, the day I met Tysha online. When I read her profile, I saw that she was bisexual.

I immediately thought to myself, “This will be fun, because my quest was to be single and not sleep with anyone. So she would be perfect to build a friendship without benefits. I will not catch feelings for a bi woman.”

I reached out to her and said, “Hello, my fellow Leo.” She replied, “Hello.” And from that moment, we were in trouble.

We exchanged numbers, we texted and met up at a club. It was right in the middle of dancing with her that I knew! I had no reservations. I forgot she was bi. I forgot she was married with kids and was visibly separated. Love made me forget.

She didn’t know what I was feeling that night because I had to keep my cool. It was NOT love at first sight. It was love at first touch. Our energies collided. We melted into each other. We had pure chemistry. This was an attraction we could not avoid.

Renata, left, says Tysha enhances her smile.

Renata says Tysha enhances her smile.

We tried to fight it; we even screamed it out. But, our love spoke way too loudly. This was when I realized that she was an enhancement to my smile. We carried out our love affair and, even during our struggle, I was still happy. This was when I knew I had something precious to give, which was myself.

 

Do not get me wrong; everything was not perfect. We had baby daddy drama, ex drama from both sides and we still did not walk away.

 

We also had some pain bodies. However, I named my body, my smile, my soul, my heart and my power, “ricochet,” because everything you shoot at me will bounce off. And I believe this is where our connection happened.

 

We believed we’re bulletproof, which made us want to protect our union even more. When I describe us, I see love. When I describe me, I see happiness. When I describe her, I see happiness.

We will survive as lovers, but most of all as friends.

Now is the moment of truth: Tysha is happily divorced and we are approaching two years as a couple. She is the enhancement to my happiness, but if she were to leave today or tomorrow, I will be sad. The sadness would be temporary because the happiness within me will last a lifetime.

This happiness I have is internal and this is a lifetime supply of eternal bliss. To wake up everyday is a gift and each time I open my eyes, I see the presence of God. He has granted me the opportunity to do what I love most, and I promised him I will live like yesterday never existed.

I Cheated on My Wife and Now We’re Stronger Than Ever

Written by Latoya Ellis

Amanda (left) and Latoya know that their love is worth fighting for.

Amanda (left) and Latoya know that their love is worth fighting for.

My wife, Amanda, and I have broken the rules from the very start. First, she was my boss when she approached me. Second, I was already in a relationship. Third, she wanted a commitment from the beginning. Fourth, although I cheated on her our marriage is stronger than ever.

 

In the eight years that we’ve been together, I’ve learned so much about real love from this amazing woman. I love everything about her. She has helped me to become a better person, and she has me looking forward to the future. She’s always been there for me since day one, no matter what. And she loves everything about me, from the way I look at her to the way I spoil her. There is just overall unconditional love between us.

 

I realized that I wanted to commit to her when I walked away from her for the first time. For two years I regretted leaving her.

 

When we got back together, it was because we knew we loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. So we got married October 22, 2014.

Amanda and Latoya celebrate the one-year anniversary of their marriage this month.

Amanda and Latoya celebrate the one-year anniversary of their marriage this month.

Things were going great until I cheated at the beginning of the year. We were going through some things, and I was looking for attention.

 

Needless to say, I beat myself up about it a lot because I almost lost the love of my life. But I did not want to let my wife go and knew that to rebuild the trust between us would mean hard work.

 

Of course we argued. There was crying and yelling, but once things calmed down, we talked about what went on and why I was seeking that attention.

 

My Advice

 

My advice for couples that are tempted to cheat is, just don’t do it! You may think it’s okay to cheat for revenge but trust me when I tell you that it isn’t worth it!

 

If there are other lesbian couples reading this that are in the same situation as I was, keep the following in mind:

 

  1. Before you even think about doing it, ask yourself if cheating would help your relationship in any way. If the answer is that cheating would ruin your relationship, then don’t do it. Also put yourself in your partner’s shoes. How would you feel if you were cheated on?

 

  1. It’s hard to rebuild trust once it’s gone, but it’s not impossible. If you continue to show her that you love her and that you respect her and her feelings, then it will eventually come back.

 

  1. Most importantly communication is the key! If you can’t communicate with your partner about any and everything, then what’s the point? My wife taught that I needed to open up to her about things that concern me and that if I kept everything bottled up, we would get no where.

 

  1. Keep working on your relationship. The way I showed my wife that our love is worth fighting for is by showing and telling her everyday that I love her.

 

I want nothing more than to be with my wife! After doing the things that we needed to do to work on our marriage, we are now better than ever.

 


 

Latoya and Amanda live with their children in Austin, Texas.

Marathon Love: Towana and Jonette

Written by Towana Bacchus-Yates

My wife Jonette and I met in college, but it wasn’t love at first sight. As we got to know each other, things changed. For our first date, we went to a Mexican restaurant. It was also my birthday so she made them sing to me as I stood in a chair with a huge sombrero on.

Over the years, we’ve collected many special memories and grown more in love. I love that we like to travel, that we can laugh at and with each other. I love that we are the strength for the other when one is weak and that we truly are best friends.

One of my favorite memories was when we got married after being together for 16 years! We went on vacation with Olivia Travel to the Dominican Republic where our friends from England met us. I was turning 40 the next year and each month, J would give me a gift. The month was May and on the last night of the trip, J asked me if I wanted to open my May gift. Of course I said, yes! She had made me a photo book with pictures of our different travels. On the last page was a picture of the Statue of Liberty and it read: “I look forward to taking you to my birthplace tomorrow.” (J was born in Manhattan). I was dumbfounded.
J’s birthday is May 20, so I had taken the day off as I always do, but this year we were going to New York. Unbeknownst to me, she arranged with my bosses to give me a few extra days off. New York was the first state we had visited since marriage became legal in some states. “Sooo,” J asked. “[While] we are there, do you want to get married?”

That was all she had to say. As soon as we landed in New York, we started our journey of picking out a dress, registering for a marriage license, and looking for flowers. On May 21, 2014 we were officially married!

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What made this day special is that it was just us. I know that sounds crazy, but it was intimate. We had 100 percent of each other’s attention. The day before we married, (J’s birthday) her mom called to wish her happy birthday and when J told her we were getting married, she gave us her blessings and wished she was there to share it with us. After we married, we went to Central Park and enjoyed the park.
The only wedding tradition that we kept is we both wore white. A southern girl with dreams of a spectacular wedding was thrown out the window. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world!


 

As of January 6, 2015, Towana and Jonette’s marriage was legally recognized in their home state of Florida and as of June 26, 2015, their marriage is recognized nationwide.

About Our Love: Phoenyx & Sweetee

Phoenyx and Sweetee were married on March 3, 2011.

Phoenyx and Sweetee were married on March 3, 2011.

“True love is rare and elusive. It’s possible, you must be willing to put in the work. I always knew it existed. This world is so “me first” that it keeps some from finding love.

In this love, we have found flaws, but even greater- found the best in ourselves and each other.

We have sacrificed self at times to strengthen US! We have used every opportunity to give, which makes the reception even sweeter. Our love is one of the few things left in this lifetime that continues to grow, endure, and create. I’m a lifer and I live it! ”

The couple believes that "Marriage works!"

The couple believes that “Marriage works!”