Lisa & Roshanda: She Walked Into the Bus Station and Stole My Heart

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Lisa and Roshanda lean in for a photo at a restaurant.

Written by Lisa Lockhart

I met my wife, Roshanda, on a dating site. I was in Jacksonville, Florida, and she was in Tampa, Florida. As we were talking on the phone, I found myself really liking this woman who I had never met. So, I decided it was time we meet.

I went to Tampa by Greyhound and I must admit, I was a little nervous. As the Greyhound bus was pulling into Tampa, I had all these butterflies in my stomach.

As I waited for her, in walked a little, petite woman who had a bouquet of flowers for me. When I saw her eyes, I was hooked.

Our first date was at this restaurant called Martha’s in Tampa. While we waited on our food, we talked and we both liked what we saw. Our first dinner date was at a restaurant that serves authentic Mexican cuisine.

I Knew She Was Special

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Lisa and Roshanda got married in May 2015.

After leaving her that day, I knew she was special. For two years, we had a long-distance relationship. After realizing that I had fallen in love with her, I knew I wanted to be with her. When I confessed that I loved her, she was speechless at first, and she said she loved me too.

When she proposed, it had me in tears. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together so I moved to Tampa and I got a job transfer. We got married on my birthday, May 20, 2015.

 

We Take Care of Each Other

We make sure we take care of each other. She has dyslexia and I make sure that I remind her that she is a great, creative person. She has had a rough life, from being adopted to being sexually and physically abused. Still, she has a great head on her shoulders.

I love how my wife supports me and loves me with my epilepsy. I love her because of her heart. She is always there for me and I love her with all her imperfections. She says she loves my eyes and my face and calls me “Fancyface.”

Our Family

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Lisa stands proudly with her stepdaughter, Keisha, at her high school graduation.

I never had any kids and another bonus was getting to know Roshanda’s daughter, Keisha. Even though Keisha was shy, we hit it off right away. She doesn’t stay with us, but it feels good to have a daughter. I get to buy her make up and give her advice.

Guidelines for Black Lesbian Love Lab Writers

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Www.blacklesbianlovelab.com is a blog focused on black lesbian relationships. We are very dedicated to providing healthy relationship content that speaks directly to our community. We are currently accepting original, unpublished relationship articles from black lesbian women. We are currently looking for articles on dating, relationships, marriage, family, fashion etc., as told from the unique black lesbian perspective.

 

6 Steps to Becoming a BL3 Writer:

 

  1. Come up with 2-3 blog post ideas that you think will appeal to our audience.
  2. Send your ideas to Zamara Perri at editor@blacklesbianlovelab.com. Be sure to include a brief bio and your relationship status.
  3. Once you and Zamara have discussed your ideas and agreed on a topic, get to writing!
  4. People have short attention spans so please keep your articles under 1,000 words. You are likely to have more people read your article if it’s between 500 and 700 words.
  5. Know that your article will be edited and packaged to fit the blog’s style. Even the very best writer needs a second set of eyes on the article.
  6. Once your article has been posted, please be sure to share it with your circle of friends on social media.

 

3 Tips for a Great Blog Post

  1. Personal: People are interested in people they can relate to so don’t be afraid to be yourself. We want to hear your real thoughts, feelings and opinions. Share examples from your own life or your friends’ lives.
  2. Invite conversations: This blog is a safe space for black lesbians to talk and share their advice, ideas and experiences so bring up conversations that you’re already having with your friends. You can be funny, deep, controversial, even offensive, as long as the writer respects her readers.
  3. Uniquely address black lesbians and their romantic relationships. Don’t forget who your audience is. While many relationship topics can apply to any relationship, black lesbians tend to have unique relationship experiences that are often not addressed in mainstream media or mainstream LGBT media. So, don’t forget to write for our community.

 

At this point articles are unpaid. The writer will have the benefit of working with Zamara Perri, who has 15 years of professional writing experience. Accepted articles will be edited, packaged and promoted to thousands of readers across various social media networks.

Interested writers should contact us at editor@blacklesbianlovelab.com.

Yep, I Looked Through My Honey’s Phone! Big Mistake!

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Written by Luvly Jones

Now, I would like to pride myself and say I am not the type of lady to look through my woman’s phone and I was … until recently. I had a funny feeling and my female intuition was coming in strong and hard. Something came over me and said, “Look through that phone” and next thing you know, I was all up in the business! But I wish I never did. Pandora’s Box was opened and BOOM!

So here is the story …

During this time, my honey and me were not in the best place emotionally. She was very distant and I was trying to figure out why. I knew that her ex had been texting and calling her, giving her the “Why don’t we get back together” business and the “I still love you blah blah blah” crap. So when my honey stepped out the car to go to the store and left her precious Samsung 3 in the cup holder, I knew it was my perfect opportunity to see what was being said between them.

It's so tempting to look through your partner's phone! Image courtesy of Bossip.com.

It’s so tempting to look through your partner’s phone! Image courtesy of Bossip.com.

Well, I found out that the ex was coming in to town. I know I should have kept my cool, but I went crazy. She came back into the car and immediately she could feel that my attitude had changed. She asked, “Baby, what’s wrong?” Of course I said, “Nothing” because I was not about to be found guilty of searching though her phone! I starting texting my bestie, so my honey asked me what I was texting. I told her nothing. Mind you my attitude sucked and we were having a great day before this. She snatched my phone to read what I was texting:

Girl, why I think her ex is in town and she is going to see her tonight.

My honey then asked me why I thought that her ex was here and then I blew up: I proceeded to accuse her of lying about the events she had planned that evening. I started to tell her how she has been making me feel and how distant she had been and while I am saying all of this I am leaving one thing out—that I went through HER PHONE. This made her think I was crazy because I am accusing her of lying and she has no idea why. See, I read the text messages wrong and thought the ex was in town that weekend, but she was coming the next month. By the way, these text messages were recent in her phone at the time and so if she was going to tell me, I didn’t even give her a chance to do so.

In the end, I put myself through so much unnecessary turmoil and torture. I totally misconstrued the few texts that I read on her phone, and had it all wrong, which caused unnecessary grief and heartache to the both of us! About a month later, I finally told her that I went through her phone. She was happy that there was a reason for my crazy but felt slighted that I withheld that piece of information because it explained a lot. OMG, I am soooo glad that snooping segment of my relationship is over! Going through someone’s phone is just too draining and it really takes a toll on you. And truly, with phone snooping, one of two things are going to happen: you will either have peace about what you read or all hell will break loose and Pandora’s Box will be opened!

Click on Page 2 below for some snooping tips!

About Luvly Jones

I play it cool, I dig all jive, that’s the reason I stay alive, my motto, as I live and learn, is dig and be dug in return – “Motto” by Langston Hughes

These telling words, expressed by Langston Hughes, is the “motto” that Luvly Jones lives by. As a typical child of a military family, Luvly travelled coast to coast, which constantly forced her to adjust to new schools, new surroundings, and make new friends. That is why understanding others and being understood is very important to her. Luvly first began writing poems and short stories as a tool to navigate through the trials and tribulations of her ever-changing childhood. In her love for the arts, she found connection and cultivated most of her friendships.

This Cali girl, the oldest of three, grew up in a very religious household as the daughter of a Christian pastor. Needless to say, coming out at the age of 16 was not an easy task nor easily accepted by her family. Thus, adding to the complexity of her childhood. And to this day, her sexuality is not something that is acknowledged nor completely accepted by her family. Therefore, the bond that she shared with her friends became her main support system as well as her second family.

After dating a plethora of women, resulting in many life lessons, Luvly finally did her official lesbian duty and u-hauled with the woman she thinks could be “the one.” Each and every day, Luvly experiences new and exciting adventures in her relationship and via her handful of quirky friends and their interesting dating lives. Through this window into her life, she hopes that you can acquire some knowledge from her failures and successes, and hopefully vice versa.

Waking up Luvly is a column about awareness, love, conflicts and getting through a relationship without getting arrested. Join her on her journey of continual self-discovery on this roller coaster of pure estrogen.

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About: Z. Amara Perri

Ever since she learned to read and write, Z. Amara Perri (a pen name), has been making up stories in her head and putting them to paper. She wrote mostly in secret about a taboo subject–women in love. For many years, she knew that love was integral to a life well lived and until her mid-20s never pursued love with a woman in real life. Once she did, she never turned back. She became convinced that the love stories of black women in love were just as valuable, authentic and uplifting as any others. That is the reason she started this blog.

She has also written several ficitional love stories about black women in love with publication on the horizon. She has two communication degrees that she uses in a daily news setting. This blog is an attempt for her to apply her professional skills to a subject about which she is very passionate–the lives of queer women of color and their families. Keep coming back for more and please share your stories and ideas with her! You can always reach Z at editor@blacklesbianlovelab.com.