Written by Zamara Perri
Every January or February millions of Americans gather around their TVS to watch the Super Bowl. This year is extra special because it’s the golden anniversary of the game. Super Bowl 50 is a big freaking deal. And if you’re a black lesbian who expects your relationship to last past 50 days, 50 weeks or 50 months, here are some great relationship tips to steal from the big game:
- Pick the best teammate. If you want to win you can’t just pick some random person because you’re bored or lonely. That’s not how winning the Super Bowl works and that’s not how having a long lasting relationship works. You have to pick someone who can be your MVP, your ride or die, your Cam Newton to your Jonathan Stewart.
- Team work makes the dream work. Members of the same football team don’t just wear the same uniforms, they play the part. Their goal is to score the most and crush the defense. In a relationship, if you can’t work together, then you can’t win the game much less make it to the super bowl.
- Take a time out. Sometimes a time out is the best way to save your relationship. Instead of having a heated argument or saying something that you’ll regret later, take a break.
- Play hard. The same amount of people who say they are interested in being great football players is probably equal to the same amount who say they want to be in great relationships. But honestly, the divorce rate is more than 50 percent and less than a tenth of 1 percent of the American public ever play in the big game. Why is that? You don’t get to be Super Bowl by being average. No body would be interested in watching the mediocre bowl. If you’re not committed to doing the hard work of a relationship, then you should probably just stick to being a spectator.
- Respect the sport ahem I mean your relationship. Americans love football almost as much as they love, love. You can’t really tell any real football fan about their team. Treat your relationship the same way you treat your love for your team, with reverence. No one should ever get away with disrespecting your lady when you respect your relationship.
- Keep score. If the goal is to win the game (or for the relationship to last), you should be consciously making an effort to put a smile on your lady’s face each day. Every smile you put on her face can add days, weeks, months and eventually years to your relationship.
- Know how to intercept trouble, hard times and temptations. A great team works together to deal with stress, financial challenges, flirty women, aggressive studs, unsupportive family, etc.
- Everyone needs a great coach (or therapist). The coach is sometimes able to see things from a different perspective, so don’t be afraid to seek counseling!
- It’s crucial to have people who are cheering for you whether that be fans or cheerleaders. Nuff said.
- Reward each other for doing a good job. The winners of the super bowl may get a nice trophy, money and other prizes and why shouldn’t you? Happy black lesbian relationships should be celebrated too! Surprise each other with little gifts, especially now that we’re in Valentine’s Day season. Give her a foot rub, a card or splurge on a vacation.
- Some people may think certain gender roles (or positions) are more important than the others, but guess what, that’s not true! The quarterback can’t win the game by himself, so stop all that noise pitting studs against femmes in the role super bowl! All that most lesbians are looking for is a woman who can hold her down.
- Know the playbook. Every relationship has its own playbook and in it are the rules that all the team members agree to play by. Know the rules and don’t act brand new, when your boo calls a particular emergency play.
- Celebrate each touch down and dance like crazy in the end zone. That means any milestones like anniversaries should be celebrated in a big way because it is a big deal.
- Fumbles will happen, but that doesn’t mean the game is over. Shit happens. That’s life. Sometimes you mess up or she messes up. It doesn’t mean that the relationship is over. No relationship is perfect. The sooner you accept that, the faster your relationship will recover from a setback.
- It’s never too later to win. One of the most exhilarating and infuriating thing about football is that you can win and lose by a mere few seconds. If you’re both playing to win, you can always find a way to make that nail-biting touch down or field goal.
- Don’t be like a football fan. Even when it is clear that your team sucks and have an racially offensive name (aka the Redskins), sometimes it’s best to just give up. Most teams have back up players for a reason, and a smart coach doesn’t keep a player who is not physically able in the game because that’s torture. Some lesbians don’t always know when to let go of a relationship. I say do it before there are life-impacting injuries.
- Know when to hand off the ball, throw it or run with it. Not all relationship issues need to be handled the same way. Studs, sometimes you have hand the ball off to your wife so she can handle business. Over time a great player learns the game well enough to know, which move is likely to result in a win, tie or a loss.
- The best defense is a great offense. Great players actually execute plays, they don’t just spend all their time in defense mode. The same thing happens in great relationships, the team members make a plan and execute it. If you want your relationship to be infidelity proof, you don’t spent time fending off advances from other women with a smile and by being friendly, you shore up your relationship and shut the other woman down for her shady behavior.
- Proper gear is crucial. Helmets, shoulder pads, ribcage protectors, cleats etc. are crucial. Relationships are no joke. All couples should engage in honest conversations because that builds trust, which is a key equipment for protecting your relationship.
- It’s a game, so have fun! Relationships should be fun. It may have a serious element to it, but at the end of the day, relationships are supposed to enhance your life! Remember how you got butterflies in your stomach the first time you discovered football? You can have the same feelings with your partner if you follow these 20 tips.
P.s. I really don’t know anything about football, but had a lot of fun creating this list.