13 Tips for Treating Your Butch Like a Queen

It's the little things that you do that can make your stud feel special.

It’s the little things that you do that can make your stud feel special.

Written by Zamara Perri

Whether you consider your black lesbian butch partner your king or queen, she’s 100 percent woman.

The truth is that no matter how the women we choose to partner with dresses or carries herself, she is a woman whose femininity and tenderness should be acknowledged, supported and celebrated.  Here are 11 tips for helping you to acknowledge and nurture the divine feminine in the butch woman in your life :


  1. Tell her she is beautiful and sexy. This may seem superficial but I believe it is necessary. Even the hardest diesel dyke deserves to be acknowledged for her beauty both inside and out.
  2. Bring her flowers or have them delivered to her office and sign it “from your not-so secret admirer” and include your initials.
  3. Write her a card or a love letter. My honey writes me love letters and cards and I love doing the same things for her. It’s the little things, ladies.
  4. Provide a safe place for her to be herself where she doesn’t have to have to be tough or pretend to have it all together.
  5. Allow her permission to be weak while you hold her down and be her strenght.
  6. Treat her to something special, whatever that may look for for you both. It doesn’t have to be expensive or involve money. Cook her a special meal. Take her out for a night on the town. Buy her favorite fragrance or her favorite hair products. My love enjoys a particular line of hair products that I plan to surprise her with soon.
  7. Prepare her plate and bring it to her in bed or at the dining table.
  8. Rub her feet and give her a ultra-luxurious pedicure. That means soaking her feet in a hot luxurious tub of water with essential oils then getting to work!
  9. Buy her something pretty that acknowledges her womanhood. If she wears make up that’s one way to go! You can also get her a session with a massage therapist or go with her to get her eyebrows done or a mani pedi.
  10. Buy her sexy lingerie. If she’s the sport-bra wearing type, buy her the nicest ones you can find. If she wears thongs, buy her some in her favorite colors.
  11. Do her hair. While you are shampooing and conditioning her hair, give her a head massage. Give her a shape up. Maintain her locs. Or retwist her plaits. Or give her a blow out. Whatever her style is, giving her a personal at-home salon time is a great way to treat her.
  12. Listen to her—to what she says and what she doesn’t say. Show her that what she says matters by keeping the dreams and intimate conversations you have between you two.
  13. Be affectionate. Give your butch lots of hugs, kisses and touches to let her know that you enjoy being next to her.

2 thoughts on “13 Tips for Treating Your Butch Like a Queen

  1. Pingback: 13 Tips for Treating Your Butch Like a Queen | Straight with no chaser

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