Ta’Sara’s Dating Diary: When Studs Become Moms

Ta'Sara got pregnant using a home insemination kit and gave birth to two healthy babies!

Ta’Sara got pregnant using a home insemination kit and gave birth to two healthy babies!

Being a parent is a tough job. When you add to it being a lesbian and then a dominant or stud mom, it can make for some interesting comments from strangers. We spoke with two tombois raising their sons for their perspectives. Ta’Sara, who lives in Tucson, Arizona, shares her story below:

I’m a full-time, black, lesbian single parent to twin boys. When people see me with my kids, they give me the side eye alllllllll the time. They automatically assume I must be a “syke-a-dyke,” or that I slept with a dude just to get pregnant. But that comes with someone being uneducated or someone who has been hiding under a rock for the past 10 years. Lol. I got pregnant through home insemination. Google it, folks.

I’ve always dreamed of being a parent with one boy and one girl so the brother can protect his sister. I was married in 2013, but we separated when I was 13 weeks pregnant. My ex-wife doesn’t want anything to do with my twins. She is trying to establish a new family with her new fiancée.

I ended up dating a friend when my babies were three months old and that went south quickly. But I have someone I am talking to now who loves and cares for my boys more than I could ever ask for anyone to. If I were looking for someone, I would look for a woman who is caring, independent, has goals and loves family. Also someone who can grow with me instead of hold me back.

Ta'Sara says she and her sons are a package deal.

Ta’Sara says she and her sons are a package deal.

Co-parenting isn’t a difficult concept for me with someone who is willing to let me live and do the same. It’s when the other parent decides they need to control every aspect of my life as well as my sons that there could be problems.

From time to time there is baby mama drama, because I have two other children with my ex-wife that she carried. She doesn’t allow me to see them and pretty much let her new girlfriend take my place as their mother. She has basically tried to push me out of their memory.

Any woman who wants to date me needs to understand, that there will be times when we cannot be alone or go out as much as we would like. I have responsibilities, and my children will always come first.

I want her to accept the fact that we are a package deal, and she can’t have me without them.

I Love Being a Mom Because

Ta'Sara's boys are too cute!

Ta’Sara’s boys are too cute!

I love the fact that I’m raising someone who will love me unconditionally, through all of my imperfections and vice versa. It’s also great to know that I’m raising the next Michael Jordan, Barak Obama or even Bill Gates.

4 thoughts on “Ta’Sara’s Dating Diary: When Studs Become Moms

  1. Thanks so much for sharing! I think it’s awesome when dominant lesbians carry despite all the stigma and side eyes. My wife and I are starting a family (through a friend donor and at home insemination) and she’s carrying first. She happens to be one of the most gorgeous women I know who wears “menswear.” She considers herself masculine of center and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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  2. Man I’m going through this right now and can identify with this whole situation. It’s helpful to know it’s not just you out here going through this madness by yourself

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  3. You guys are all so brave! Its tough enough just being a stud in society but to carry and raise babies is very courageous and amazing!!!

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