A Recap of My First Holiday Dinner With My New Bae and My Family

Written by Z. Amara Perri 

Image courtesy of Atlanta Black Star.

Image courtesy of Atlanta Black Star.

She was not the first woman I ever brought home to meet my family. But after three months of dating, I’m thinking my new bae will probably be the last. So I thought this was the perfect time to bring her to my family’s Christmas dinner. I am one of those people who live in what some would call a “glass closet.” That means I don’t go around making grand pronouncements about whom I’m dating, especially to my very conservative, religious, Jamaican family. However, if they don’t know that I’m gay, then they are probably in deep denial.

There are certain people in my family I’ve actually sat down and had the “I’m gay” conversation with, like my mother. Others I have a pleasant but not intimate relationship with so my personal life or even their personal lives don’t come up in conversation. I present as femme so people never think to ask me any questions about my sexuality. My bae on the other hand, who wears her hair short and has swag for days, will always get the side eye. She doesn’t like to be labeled as anything, but can’t really hide her tomboi side even if she tried.

Even before the family dinner, I wondered how to approach the idea of how she should dress for the first meeting. I thought about encouraging her to look a little more femme, but decided to leave it up to her. She ended up wearing a baby blue sweater and some tight jeans, which I thought she looked adorable in. She has such a great ass, which I thought looked great in those jeans and would help her look more feminine. Then she put on her man shoes. Sigh. And to make things worse, I ended up not having time to stop by my apartment and select the white sweater I had in mind. So I ended up wearing a pink sweater and she a blue sweater. If that wasn’t a subtle message, then I don’t know what was. She freaked out about the coordinating colors of our sweaters and I just laughed my ass off. I thought it was so funny that I didn’t even mention that she could just change into a different color sweater. I simply hurried us out the door as we were running late as it was.

Bae’s mom called just before we left the house, and bae told her mom she was nervous about meeting my family. For days I had been telling her that my family would love her, but it took these precious words from her own mother to calm her a bit: “How could they not love you? You are the chosen one.”

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