When people start dating, they generally don’t get to meet the family right away. After all, the thinking is, you should only introduce your new girlfriend to family and friends if you are in a serious relationship. I agree because I don’t generally feel comfortable meeting friends and family unless I know where things are going for us. I can’t remember how far we were into my last relationship before I met my ex’s friends, but I remember feeling a bit awkward. Why? Because meeting the friends and/or family is a major deal. Even if they are really nice, you know they are judging you. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t put much weight on what her friends think, you know they will counsel her regardless, because they love her and want the best for her.
Exactly one month ago, I met an amazing woman, we’ll just call her S and I’ve already met her family. I have my outgoing moments, so I can generally win people over. Even so I will stress and put off the meeting for as long as possible.
In this particular case with S, I had no control over when I would first meet her family and friends. She belongs to a very close-knit group of friends who are, for all intents and purposes, her family. The night we met, most of her family was already in attendance. I attended the party reluctantly because a close mutual friend invited me.
When S and I locked eyes that night, I didn’t think we’d end up spending any significant time together. About 10 days later, we went on our first date. The first date was okay. We had great conversation and mild attraction. It wasn’t until S asked for a quick meet up between her work and martial arts training, that things started to heat up. She worked and trained very close to my apartment so meeting her in the evenings became our thing.
Why I Caved
One of the things I admire about S is how open and free she is with her feelings. While I’m very private about everything, including who I’m dating, she is not!
Her friends noticed how happy and excited she was about our budding relationship. This meant they wanted to know who she was suddenly spending all this time with. Normally I would try to stall for as long as possible, but something inside me decided to stop being so controlling.
A couple weeks into our dating (at that time we weren’t even calling it dating), I accepted her invitation to watch “Scandal” with her and her friends. Meeting the friends wasn’t as hard as I thought, partly because we already shared a close mutual friend, and partly because we were so engrossed in the show. After the show, we sat in the backyard around the fire pit and chatted. Was it awkward at times? Yes, but it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.
On Saturday she stopped by my house and had a friend in tow who wanted to meet me. I was hot and sweaty after a run and was not looking my best. Fortunately I was in the shower and missed that friend.