Written by Giselle Bella
I started dating women at 14 years old and … [then] I dated guys from about 16 years old to my mid-twenties. Needless to say, I have never been in love with a man. By the young age of 21, I was complete and aligned with the understanding that I prefer women. Men are an option. Women are an emotional connection.
During my twenties, I was in about three serious relationships, yet had about 10 to 11 different lovers. Okay, okay, I may have had more lovers … as I was polyamorous. You know, multiple loves or lovers? (Notice I said “was,” we will address this later). Oh, that’s right many people have an idea and, of course, a misconception of polyamory. Polyamory is a topic, which may take up a few pages on the site, so I won’t cover it now.
I spent five wonderful years with a partner and had three other lovers and some dates in between. My then partner and I had an agreement. We had an understanding. We had trust. I broke the trust when she asked me not to sleep with someone specific and yet I did. Even though she was aware, I still broke that trust and that was what set in motion my sabbatical. Others had broken my trust numerous times, but I had never been the one to cause pain. So, I yearned to find out what was happening to me and why.
Reconnecting With the Divine
After a five-year relationship and many lovers, I needed a break. Or so I thought. What I needed was more than a break from relationships; I needed to reconnect with my higher self and of course, The Divine. Not that I was on a destructive path, but I needed to connect on a deeper lever spiritually and with my Spirit Guides and ancestors and of course Mother God. Most importantly, I needed to support myself in self love and overcome my issues of abandonment and mother-daughter issues. So, I sought a spiritual life coach. I chose Coach Maq Elé who suggested I go on a two- to three-year sabbatical. I chose to go on a two-year sabbatical.
During this time, I was in constant growth and working toward my spiritual self and of course this supported me physiologically. In being able to have spiritual intimacy, I was able to overcome fears, release expectations and, most importantly, love all people as God wants me to while loving myself. During my sabbatical, my relationships with friends and families changed. However, they changed as I did for the greater good. The beautiful thing is that all my friends and family signed up (spiritually) to be on this journey with me. What I mean is— everyone seemed to have started the journey of spiritual intimacy along the same time. I think that was our soul contract. My sisters and I began to talk about love of the Universe Divine God and other like things. My friends were often in the same spiritual workshop or mental environment as I. The most outstanding thing about the sabbatical was the support, which poured in from my friends. At no time was anyone questioning my faith, belief and work, but rather I received cheers and support. I believe we are well on a path to change our world by simply starting with ourselves intimately and spiritually.